h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Okay, the mud is now just the right gloopy consistency... let's play rugby!

*DD calls for a tee ready for the kick off*

*He takes two steps back and two sidewards*

Then kicks the ball 11 metres down the pitch into the waiting arms of....

Uh oh, it's coming towards me

Phil catches the ball and starts to run forward toward DD and just as DD is about to tackle him, he passes the ball to his left...

*DD tackles Phil just as he unleasehs the ball*

The Mud has a good consistancy.

To the extremely quick and agile DE whoneglects to remember o pass but just tries to run right through everyone....

You're right the mud has enough firmness to run on (at the mo) but yields enough not to hurt when you get floored by someone

*DD leaves Phil to enjoy the mud while he sets off in pursuit of DE*

*DE looks behind to see DD chasing him and accidentally trips over the kick-off tee which had yet to be removed from the pitch*

Oof

*Attempts to get up but...*

*DD dives on top frocing DE to lay back the ball*

Aaaaarrrrrrghhhh!!!

*Squelch*

*DE wonders if we're playing union or league rules here while his face is being ground into the mud...*

*DD prefers Union, far Muddier*

Phil runs down the pitch to try and get the free ball.

*DE wonders where the other 13 members of the team are, it's a little difficult to protect the ball on his own*

*DD was wondering the same about the other 14 on his*

Runs to DE and realises that the ball ain't going nowhere so he tries to force the game further down the pitch pushing DE and DE with his momentum.

*DE wonders how two of him ended up playing but takes full advantage and using superior erminepower sets up a roliing maul with Phil and himself*

*watches a long long way away*
*did I say long? I meant ~long~*

*DD wishes Joanna were on the field as he tries to stop the rolling maul of DE, DE and Phil*

*DE1 slips in the mud as the maul nears the touch, pushing DE2 and Phil over*

*emerges from teh club house with teh magic sponge and the orange halves*