h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*big sign on front* HOWLHOWLGARGLEGARGLEHOWL (translated GRAND OPENING) Hey everyone. I decided to open a new place. So chat all ya want. We close at ten every night but on weekends we close at 12. *starts making coffee and hamburgers*

coffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffee
I've just moved my whole room straight down the hall and into new headquarters- I need a caffeine fix
*looks round approvingly at the cafe*
Niiiiice. I like what you've done with the place.
Although the poetry on the wall is a little offputting...

Poetry???? I told the contracter that i didn't want poetry on the wall! It would annoy my guests *stomps off hopping mad*

CONTRACTER'S OFFICE

Contracter: What's wrong Jeltz?
Jeltz: You know what's wrong!
Contracter: What? The Poetry?
Jeltz: This isn't WHO'S LINE IS IT ANYWAY?! In that show theres a game where you can only speak questions.
Contracter: Are you sure?
Jeltz: Yes.
Contracter: Final Answer?
Jeltz: ARRRRRRRGH!!! (Jeltz has gone into PSM or Primal Scream Mode)
Contracter: I'll fix the poetry!!!!!
Jeltz: Good. Did you know that's the only sentance with a exclemation mark you've said so far?
Contracter: (groan)

St.Peter - You might want a sit down and a nice cup of tea...

Infact, you might want to invite Saint William into the cafe owning fold, as he makes the best tea in the known Universe !!!

St.P.

Whoopsie. My bad.
Tea? We need good coffee in here- can't go without it myself...
Now who makes a decent mocha latte round these here parts?

Contracter: Oh Jeltz do I....
Jeltz: Yes!
Contracergroany like groan)


2 hours later

Contracter: It's done.
Jeltz: Good
contracter: (walks away)

*Jeltz posts new sign howlgarglehowlhowl (translated Grand Re-opening)*

hehe... any music going on Jeltz???

A double latte please, keeps the eylids open!!

hands kitty the latte smiling weakly

only a weak smile... were the contractors *that* bad??? thanx for the latte BTW... any sugar around??? ah yep!

Ta Jeltz

I do believe that for coffee and it's likes, you want to recruit the great Saint Irving Washington-ps of the Highly Strung!


Way to go, Jeltz!
LOL!

*pouffer*
Oh.... I'll have a triple espresso please
Hey all- I'm officially a working bird, and it's bloody harder than it looks Must have artificial stimulants.
*swallows coffee in two mouthfuls*
Right-oh, I'll have another of those. What are you guys having?

*Jeltz is sitting at a table feeling lonely whilst drinking a Bud Lite. Suddenly he hears a spigot dripping.

Spigot: Drip Drip Drip Goes the water

Jeltz: Tommorows project

*Jeltz is still feeling a bit lonely when he hears a celing fan off balance.

Jeltz: I'll look into that

*Pretty soon he turns on the jukebox*

Unkown Singer: Sugar a honey honey you are my candy girl you make....

*Jeltz hits him self by accident and kicks the jukebox*

Jukebox: You warrrrrrrr.....

*Jeltz notices that it is too quiet again*

*He notices scratching at the back door*
*grabs a frying pan*

Jeltz: Allright... I'm ready for you who......

*opens the door and sees an angel dog*

Jeltz: oh come on in your gonna have to settle for hamburgers tommorow i stock some sirloin.

*Jeltz fed the dog so much he couldn't stand up*

Dog: ARRF!

Jeltz: Yes run along now.

*Soon the place starts filling up with people.*

Jeltz: Ahh. It's great to have guests.

Jeltz posts sign on window

NOW HIRING

aw... Jeltz....

*goes over to Jukebox, hits it once and it starts up again*

hehe... um, a beer for me please.... I cant fix the fan or the tap, but jukeboxes....

*Wanders over to the jukebox muttering "If Quorthon's aorund he'll kill me but..." and puts on Green Day's Basket Case*
Love this song- sums me up perfectly
*flutters back to Jeltz and smiles*
So... you're hiring. I can work two jobs you know.
*Grins pleadingly*
Please? I need work experience on my uni applications. And I make a mean mocha latte
Plus, I know how to make an iced cappuchino... perfect for summer... draw in the crowds...
*stops herself as she realises she is rambling*
Ok, I'll stop...

You might as well be hired. I'll take anyone.

This ones to Kitty:

Hands her the beer smiling happily

Jeltz: Enjoy.

Thanx Jeltz... the jukebox still goin' fine??

Oh, thanks. Nice to know I'm so valued.
Well, maybe I'll take the job. I'll have to get back to you...