h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*regards Bahb's unconscious body on veranda(h)*

You know, it occurs to me that we don't have any doctors or medical facilities on h2g2. All there are, are a couple of addiction therapists and some lifeguards. Shall we have Ampton fetch a lifeguard?

Perhaps you could send me another invite as well, lil?

*also regards Bahb's unconcious form, and notices the way he looks like a rag doll dropped by a careless child*
Well, it wouldn't do any harm I suppose. But I agree with you, I have never noticed any medical facilities around. There was a hospitality tent that doubled as a hospital and recovery room at Greebo's last dinner party (we are still in it at the moment) and also BigC has a sickbay on his spaceship, but it is fully automated. Perhaps while Garius is sorting Minoova, he can add a First Aid or Nurse program while he is at it.
*checks bahb for pulse*
Well, he's alive anyway.

Oh, that's nice. A corpse would be inconvenient. Ammmmmpton! Could you fetch a lifeguard, please?

Looks like thunder. Perhaps we should go inside. Should we bring Bahb with us or leave him exactly where he fell? I've heard that you shouldn't move accident victims in case they have a back injury. And surely the rain won't hurt him.

I would leave him where he is. Unfortunately RL calls again, so I shall take my beautifully cleaned trenchcoat and depart. Thank you for the tea once again, and, of course, the clean coat. I shall catch up on Bahb's rehabilitation tomorrow. Have a quiet evening.
Night. *dons coat, checks beard and replaces dark glasses. Checks himself in the convenient mirror situated in the foyer and bids Lil Adieu*

A wet and tired man returns from the winterless north of NZ, where he spent a week drinking beer and looking at rain and wind, just in time to report that he recently subbed a yarn on diabetes written in part by the h2g2 Medical Team. Maybe they could be of assistance to Bahb?

Goodnight Babel, and welcome, Looney! Come in and sit down near the fire, while I put some good NZ water on for green tea. I'm sorry you didn't have better weather for your holiday in the north.

If you can give me the URL of the article you subbed, that would be a great help, but something tells me this fellow is suffering from something other than insulin shock.

You'll find that there's a great deal to catch up on!

From the h2g2 medical Teams page

h2g2's Medical Team checks all Approved Entries related to medical matters for accuracy, entries such as Nacolepsy and Alco-Neuropathy.

The team is headed by Dr Peter Mills, who trained in medicine at the Royal Free Hospital, University of London, graduating in 1990. He has spent time working at St Mary’s, The Royal London, St Bartholomew’s and The London Chest Hospitals. He specialises in Respiratory and General Medicine and currently works at The Whittington Hospital, London.

h2g2's Medical Team is otherwise known as Encyclomedica, a company that specialises in providing the highest quality medical and health related information to both the general public and healthcare professional. Encyclomedica provides specialist medical editors and reviewers for medically related articles submitted to h2g2.

Encyclomedica is soon to launch a medical information, health and community web site, which will be found at www.medical.co.uk in the UK. Encyclomedica and The Digital Village have agreed terms whereby all of the information on this site will be freely accessible to h2g2 users.

Sips tea while reading backlogs and emails. Paraphrases a man in Scot's doomed early 20th century South Pole expedition - "This could take some time."

*unbendingly continues to foolishly cling to his lack of lucidity*

Bahb, help is available here: http://www.h2g2.com/U116739

Ammmmmmmmmmpton -- oh, there you are.
Drag that unconscious man out of the rain, would you? By his heels. Don't let his head bump too much. To the Barsoom Room, that's #4.
Minoova, yes, you may houseclean him. But take some biscuits with you and make sure the tea and coffee making things are fresh.

Looney, I have discovered that I was born about 150 years to the left. I like having servants and have no trouble directing them around. That 1900 House programme, the mother was so conflicted about having a maid-of-all-work that she fired her, the maid. If that were real Victorian England, the mother would have been a proper villain to behave like that.

*serves green tea*

Lil, I'm not sure if I have mentioned I employ a maid (housekeeper) and gardener IRL. Do you employ staff?

Sips tea.

Not as such. I have a man who comes and sprays for bugs, and one who services the air handler regularly, so I have accpeted the notion of strangers in my house, especially since the dog follows them around and watches them carefully.

My friend has a cleaning lady and chides me for wasting time by doing the work myself. Usually, though, it tends not to get done, except for the kitchen which I maintain with rigour. My Pennsylvania Dutch parents always felt the interior of a house should be as spotless as a Vermeer, and would turn in their graves to see how successfully I ignore the floor.

I have mold growing in a Snapple Meteor Glass (a delicious drink with Tangelo)... I was unable to finish the drink one day, and it has been sitting there, under direct light (the bulb is exactly 1.3 inches away), and has been growing mold for ages. I'm wondering where this is going to take me...

If I took a picture of my desktop it would either give you the willies, as well as delusions of condemning my house, or sigh an all-too-knowing sigh that yes, you're not alone.

[P]
*On the back of the card...*
Thanks Lil, I've now got the topica email

*GL enters and walks over to Minoova.*

Come on, girl, time for some fine tuning.

*GL walks to the sevice elevator, with Minoova following. They both enter, then descend after GL close the cage door.*

Wow... now I know what a hardship it can be to be away from the Atelier for a couple of days. I leave, and you build more things.



BTW, Lil, have you been monitoring the feedback at the FFFF logo?

*trudges up the stairs and takes off his coat and darkglasses. Rests the coat over the back of a chair in the salon and helps himself to tea. Sits down and relaxes*
Afternoon Colonel. How are you today?

Colonel, can you give me the URL? And I must put up the alternates. What are people sayig? My keyboard is packing in. I've beaten my laptop to death.

I was late getting back to the studio today. I found it necessary to go out and get a UPS for the #2 desktop computer. Meanwhile I had lots of terrific email -- heard from QMike in Perth! He's fine.

And then I got a very nice email from a chap in New Mexico who wants to do an exhibit of my Billy work at the Hubbard Museum. There might be a couple of complications to do with picture rights, but I've written to the judge about that. Man, what a boost!

Won't it be interesting to see how GL modifies Minoova! Oh! I had forgotten about the body -- see how the rain has quite washed the blood away out there. I had the bots move him to the Barsoom Guest Suite. Perhaps I should go see how he is, or whether he still is.

So much to do.

*wakes up and comes out of nest, shakes to get the feathers off, then sits down to groom thoroughly*
*sees fake beard on guy and starts to giggle*
heh heh heh heh heh

*goes to Food Lady and puts a paw on her foot*
You got mail from owner buddy! I heard you say it. And there's a dead guy in a guest room?

*raises up high* sniff sniff sniff sniff

No. Nobody dead. Smell blue dust. Feh!
Snack now? This fine rat is going out to play!