h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's probably going to be one of my next projects. After I finish the switches, the sinister robot that Red's asked me to design, and figure out what I'll do to my next vict ... monkey.

*Glances at Violet*

Wonder if she can digest monkey.

Worth a try, would certainly cut down on overheads, not to mention the 1000, sorry 999 + KK monkeys floating around in CLI.
maybe try her on a small one first?

I've just been downloading some fascinatingly rare Bowie on Napster. The user I dload from seems to always be on, so I get about five songs from her every day. Right now, with my recent 20 dloads, my bowie song collection is reaching to 349 distinctly different versions of songs.

Oh joy!

Sorry, I know that seemed a bit out of place, but I am just keeping everyone informed with what I am doing ...

I am also doing entirely new graphics for the post, which is a bit of a b*tch since I can't make invisible gifs. what do you use for it, lil?

I know you have been asking about invisible gif's, Sporky, but I thought you would have got it sorted by now.
Try this website: http://www.netmag.co.uk/
There is normally plenty of webpage info on lots of stuff.
How about single pixle transparent gif's?
Try this:
[Broken link removed by Moderator]

I know about the single pixel invisible giffy trick- in fact I use it over at http://sporky.net . I just can't seem to find a permanent solution to my problems with giffys.

Did you look at the site? Bookmark it and have a trawl later.
I wil have a look myself if I get a chance.
Also I will have a look through the actual mag. see what I can come up with, though I would have thought a packacge could handle them.
(hence the reason you were asking Lil in the first place. Duh!)
*hits self over the head*

Everbody is an artist or a writer or a fool - Loony 2000.

Lucky me, I'm two of those... and I assure you, I cannot draw.

BTW... that earlier Twain quote about parrots... I believe it's from one of the two Pudd'n'head Wilson's Calendar. It's where I always go to find a quick quote. Incidentally, Pudd'n'head Wilson was my alternate pick for my new nickname. Which do you like better?

*from kitchen*
How many Gargleblasters are there on site now? Must be a bunch. But I was fixing to start calling you Colonel, which will be reasonably easy to type.
*brings out tray with tea, OJ, breakfast pastry*
Happy Days, gentlemen; I had a good night's sleep.

I notice that Peta has evaluated our page of Continuity!
*goes over to Violet with almond-size chunk of ground beef and drops it delicately into one of her traps*

Uh, I see no ape. *goes to woods-ward window and sees Ferrari grazing contentedly below* Hey Ferrari, have you seen a large ape this morning?
*returns to group*
OK, Ferrari says an ape headed out for the mountain earlier on. That would be about right, wouldn't it? Gorillas prefer higher ground and forest environments. Affi, you ought to convert a few other monkeys so that he has company up there. I'm sure for all their size they won't bother anybody.

Last time I searched, there were two others, so I can only assume the ones I spotted before noticed the popularity of the name, and changed it... possibly even as a deferral to me, in honor of my longstanding Gargleness...

In spite of my admiration for Twain, I think I like the Colonel name better. I never did like the Pudd'n'head name, for some reason. As for where the quote came from, I don't know. I just saw it on a "famous quotes" page that I stumbled across a long time ago.

*The buzzer for the loading docks rings*

Ah, that will be the 999 regulation sized typewriters and 1 enormous typewriter.

*Heads downstairs to the loading docks.*

Anyone for a sweepstake for time to the first line of shakespear?

*clings to back of sofa with one hand, fans self rapidly*

Oh! I hope that doesn't happen again. When h2g2 doesn't know who I am all of a sudden, it just ruins my whole day, which couldn't have got much worse anyway. May I rant, gentlemen? I have had my bad things occur in threes, and all three have happened already.

rant away Lil. I do find it most annoying when this happens as well.

I'm just scaring myself reading GB's (the Colonel ) article on the hazards of scuba diving. I signed up for a basic open water course with a local dive shop last friday

OK.

1. The car's battery went dead yesterday, so I had to walk 2 miles for a Sunday paper, call in AAA tis morning, and spend $100 to get a new battery installed at the dealership.

2. On the way home I stopped at the bookstore and found out that the latest issue of True West, the Billy the Kid special, is out and that my work is totally absent. This is the stuff that was accepted by the publisher in the presence of Judge H Marsh, president of the Lincoln County Historical Society of New Mexico and several other worthies. It seems that Boze Bell, the editor didn't care for it and couldn't be arsed to write to me, call me, or email me.

3. On my arrival home I found a message from the walk-in clinic I was obliged to attend a fortnight ago when my own doc was on holiday. The radiology department wanted me to call them back immediately. Their news is, the xray I had done shows pneumonia in the left lung. Mark you that was before I started on the antibiotics and I feel ever so much better ... but the bacteria might still be lurking.

It's all rather depressing and I think I will put the kettle on.

As is sometimes said in these situations, arse!

Not too good a couple of days then.

Hope the pneumonia isn't really going to be doing you bad agin.

Sounds like the True West editor is a bit of an idiot, not even calling and telling you that your stuff was being pulled. Does this mean that you may be able to submit it somewhere else?

Well, we could try being incredibly optimistic and say
1. My car has a brand-new battery.
2. I now have the opportunity to apply to some decent academic publications with the Kid material, since True West's credentials have sunk subsequent to Boze's accession as editor. A couple of editorials, his assistant editor actually said "we're fed up of doing this dry hisotrical stuff full of footnotes. We're gonna start havin' fun!" or words to that effect.
3. I did have pneumonia, as the xray belatedly confirms, but the meds the doctor gave me have cleaned it all out.

Re (2), I'm going to ask Redbeard whether he knows of any likely journals, becuase he's involved in the arts at academic level. Re (3) I will probably have to go to my regular doctor ad have another xray to confirm my health. Boring.

I feel better for expressing the rage. Thank you for listening, gentlemen. Althoug I still feel foolish over rthe Billy material, for claiming an upcoming publication that didn't happen.

Now we're looking at the right side of things

I think you should have a go at seeing if you can get the billy stuff published somewhere. It'd be a great shame if all that work you did ends up being lost to the mists of time and all that.

And Lil breathed a big sigh of relief thinking that she should be OK.

Whoa, bummer of a day, Lil. But I think the optomistic way is the only way to look at things. Otherwise we all might as well join some cult and join in a mass suicide. Wait a minute ... cult ... h2g2 ... limited contact with outsiders ... charismatic leader ... total immersion in culture ...