h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Mr. D ]

[p]

Morning all. Glad the funeral went well, Ben and Z.

Farting pets: I swear Dougal's stump of a tail is a gas release valve. If he sits, he farts. Vilely.

Hello.

It was a very nice funeral. Upsetting of course, but I feel that now there's a wound that can heal.

Getting back to reality is now a problem..

s Z

s tartaronne - I have a lot of empathy for you there on the subject of difficult youths. Mr T is just the opposite of Signor S - he shows no worry or concern whatsoever but will then 'blow his stack' at No3 with very little warning.
We've had a couple of phone calls from Wee G. The first time he got the callminder - sounded very grown-up and left a considered and thoughful message, sending us lots of love

I had a very thought about WC being plagued by flocks of very surprised, farting birds - thanks to Hyp's unwanted bean recipe.

This being off work with a bad back lark is very I've only just woken up after about 9 hours sleep. Think it must be the heavy duty drugs

Monty Python: Hit or miss for me, but I do love 'Life of Brian'. I also feel that amateurs doing MP sketches (or Two Ronnies, or whatever) doesn't really work. The main reason that the audience laugh is because they remember seeing the Pythons do the sketch. So Affi, I offer to you and your fellow comics for avoiding it. Unlike drama or music, sketch comedy is something that generally doesn't translate well to another person's interpretation.

Speed dating: many of my patrons seem to have led a blissfully book-free life before coming here, so there would be much silence at library speed dating. Hmm, maybe a good idea then...

Countries and colours: Brazil? I don't understand. Did I miss an explanatory post? I immediately thought of Orange Free State. My favourite name for a country is Central African Republic. It's a bit like Ronseal - it does exactly what it says on the tin.

Gah! I missed a stupid invisible LED again.

I'm glad the funeral went well, Z.

Z

Teuchter

Colourful country? I can only think of Greenland. But that is not an independent country - yet.

Incidentally, I met an engineer who works for a company which runs wind farms at the weekend, so I asked her about bird strikes. She said that a lot depended on where you locate the wind farm, and that the early ones in the US did tend to be located in the migratory paths of birds.

If you don't put them on avian motorways, there are fewer avian pile ups.

Made sense to me.

[GDZ]

Ooh Ben, which of my relatives was that?

My attempts to work today are hampered by my brain being entirely full of something that feels rather like strawberry jam, so the cogs are wirring very slowly. I just want to sleep.

Strawberry jam? That's nothing... I feel like someone's inflated my brain and is now tapdancing on my optic nerve.

I'm going to assume that feelings of pressure in ones head coupled with pain behind the eyes is nothing serious because I cannot have any time off work at the moment (numbers recently culled, immediate colleage off sick until further notice).

Z, I'm glad the service is over and you can start returning to normal. Just getting back into a familiar routine is a help.

Strawbery Jam? Optic tap dance? Farting birds?

Tour Guide pointing to a tree with his teal umbrella: And there, ladies and gentlemen, is the most renowned tree in the city. It was on the fourth limb from the bottom at precisely 8:13 AM on April 12, 1827 that Walter Farnham, later Sir Walter, while on his way to get his glasses repaired and eating a crumpet with strawberry jam made the first recorded sighting of the now famous farting finches of Farnham. Let's go quietly, shall we, as one never knows, does one.

A friend just sent me a link to this amazing collection of stuffed animals:

http://www.giantmicrobes.com/

E. coli is awfully cute!

I liked Porphorymonas gingivalis - but it looks far more cuddly than its effects on the periodontium

I'm feeling rather at the moment - thanks to the ministrations of a young Ozzie physio called Andrew who's been massaging my sore back and doing acupuncture on me.
I could definitely be at risk of turning into one of Harry Enfields Dirty Old Ladies

I have lurgy. I caught it from you guys. Fever. Nausea. Stomach cramps. I feel so bad I called in sick. You have to understand that in the last 10 years I've taken only 3 or 4 sick days. I've lost track, I do it so seldom. I have months of sick leave accumulated. I've reached the maximum, which I will hopefully never need.

Anyway, I'm going to go find my recliner and comfy blankie and take a nap - if possible.

That certainly makes sense, that avenues of greatest wind power should also be avian motorways.

*loves Hypatia's rendition of the tour guide*

Brazilwood, a tree, has a bark which yields a strong reddish-orange pigment that was greatly in demand in Europe. Pigments were rare and expensive several hundred years ago, so when Brazil was first discovered/exploited it was named for the pigment that was among its most profitable exports. Brazilwood was called brazilwood before Brazil was called Brazil.

There are other countries and places whose names incorporate colors, as many salonistas have pointed out, but Brazil was specifically named for a specific and actual pigment.

Florida contains 'florid', which means colorful.

Hypatia, I was waiting for you to call in sick after spending several days in an unheated library.

We are always so short-staffed, that I hate to leave them in the lurch. However, I am tired of working when I feel awful. Today I'm sure I must be contagious. Everyone is better off with me at home.