h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*holds Ripley in a firm grip, watching him sniffing and frowning again*

*starting to feel dizzy*

*feeling woozy* rummages around in left battle welly for a hunting knife*

It's a good job I kept my wellies on when I changed into my swimming costume or I'd look a right fool now. I'm going to investigate those plants. You stay here.

*approaches the plants slowly and cautiously* the plants hum louder and the flowers group together as if conversing*

*Amy crouches on the floor*

There are scrape marks here on the floor of the forest. They lead towards the swimming hole as if something has been dragged.

*a tendril shoots out from the clump of plants and wraps itself around Amy's knees* she slashes at the tendril with the knife but it is too tough* the plants start to drag the ant towards the swimming hole* Amy digs the hunting knife into the ground and hangs onto its hilt with all four hands*

Er... Titania... I may need a little help here...

*tries to focus*

*fumbles for elf emerald*

*holds it tight, and feels head clearing*

*lies down flat on stomach*

*stretches out hand, starts ing the tendril*

*watches Titania tickling the tendrils*

You see, I would never have thought of that. Here we are stuck in a forest known to be less than well-disposed towards researchers and so tickling my opponents is the last thing on my m...

*more tendrils shoot out and wrap themselves around the elf who grabs hold of Amy's legs to avoid being dragged into the swimming hole*

Ah, well it was a good idea at the time. I was prepared to be impressed, I really was. Now I suppose we had better hope that baby unaus are brighter than they look.

I prefer to try a less hostile approach to begin with - sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't... *would shrug if she wasn't so busy holding on to Amy*

*looks at Ripley, who looks back, bewildered and frowning more than ever*

I think he needs to carbo-load before we can expect any help... and I only brought the usual greens for him - you wouldn't happen to have something? *looks hopefully at Amy*

*tries to kick at tendrils, but in vain*

Has anyone see T? Amy is being a long time too.

I wouldn't want them to miss all this lovely food.

/* Drops a marshmallow on the ground. */

Maybe that will help Amy find her way back. It works for other ants.

/* Zeppo eats the marshmallow. */

Bad dog!

*returns from a long walk along the beach*

S'mores! Yum.

*gazes overhead* Lyrid meteor showers coming soon...I think I'll watch them from here.

*looks along the length of her body at Titania*

I have a small collection of chocolate truffles in the top of my right welly . I liberated them from the veranda during the barbeque.

Can you reach them?

How easy would it be to translate the phrase "Trapped by malevolent salad. Bring Marv's killer dressing." into meeps?

*admires Amy's foresightedness*

Are they deep down in the welly or can I reach them without pulling the welly off?

Oh - and I wouldn't worry about translating those instructions to Ripley - we've got telepathical contact...

...actually I'm more worried about the others' ability to translate from meeps into English... hmmmm... I'm sure they recognize an animal in distress, but killer dressing?

*manages to wriggle a truffle out of Amy's welly with her little finger and flick it in Ripley's direction*



Now go, Ripley - go!

*sniffs at truffle*

*gulps it down*

*after a last frowning look at plants, turns around and disappears like a green flash in the foliage*

*there is a sudden crashing of foliage accompanied by frantic meeping and Ripley bursts out of the wood and gallops to the campfire*

*Mindspring looks up then gets to her feet with unaccustomed smartness, considering she hasn't had any carbs, but she snatches the hot dog roll out of Lil's hand, wolfs it down, then runs into the Wood, evidently following Ripley's trail*

What? Ripley without Titania??

*stops abruptly, tumbles in the sand*

*looks after Mindspring, hesitantly - but the instructions were clear*

*heads for Lil*

Meep! Meep! Meep!

*pretends to strangle himself*

*rolls over*

*picks up a combat suit jacket lying on the beach*

*puts it on*

*looks at Lil*

*jumps up and down, in frustration*

*wriggles out of jacket*

*carbo-load mode is almost over*

*moves in his usual slow-motion*





*tries to strangle himself*



*plays dead*



*slowly puts on jacket*

A Lassie impersonation if ever I saw one! There's trouble afoot in the woods!

I'm sure T and Amy are in trouble.

*starts to track along the path Ripley left throught the forest*

This way!

Yup, definitely trying to tell us something.

*pulls hat firmly down over ears and follows*

But what ????!!!!!!!!!

*Witty was just preparing a salad for herself when Ripley came barrelling onto the beach. She tears off after the others with a bowl of greens in one hand and the cruet of Marv's dressing in the other.*

Hey, wait for me!

*stops to feed Ripley a piece of Child's summer cake, then waits for her to regain a hyperactive state*