h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

by posting here before it all falls apart (doomsday)
will that make me fomous for 15 nanoseconds ?

Doomsday has already happened! Maybe we are just so busy that we haven't even noticed it.

Nope, It'll just waste your last few seconds when you could be having sex.

Relax... we've got untill 2012CE untill the proper armageddon!

The New Zealamd Y2K Readiness Commission has given new meaning to the phrase "millennium bug." The commission is employing Ken, a computer-generated cockroach, to urge New Zealanders to hoard essential supplies in case the world ends on New Year's Eve. Should you starve, however, the commission has helpfully included the following "succulent" cockroach recipe in its press kit.
Succulent Cockroaches. "Fill bowl with cockroaches. Simmer cockroaches in vinegar. Then boil with butter, farina flour, pepper and salt to make a paste. Spread on buttered bread." Yum.

Just the thing to wash down with champagne on January 1 as you watch the sun come up and the computers go down.

According to several articles that appeared around the 'non-event day', Nostrodamus could still be right as he was using a different calendar system to the one we currently employ. So apparently he's still got until mid-August before we can laugh at him, which really bites cos I've got two essays due in before then!

Actually, thanks to the miscalculation of monk named Dionysius Exiguus, the date is off by three to five years. This means it is at least 2002 already. So if we'd just turn the calenders ahead, we will miss Armageddon altogether.

Could be posting -while- having sex, therefor enjoying the best of both worlds.

Aaaaaaaaaargh! Aaaaaaaaaargh! Aaaaaaaaaargh! We're all going to die. Aaaaaaaaaargh! Aaaaaaaaaargh! Aaaaaaaaaargh! Euuuuueeeergh ....

Good riddance - probably an italian war hero

According to my calculations, which I haven't actualy made so it doesn't matter if I'm wrong, the actual date of nostradamusis prediction of a 30 year war will come on the 11th of august, thus we get to see the eclispe before the start of armageddon!

America has been at war with the rest of the world since 1946

Yes it's definitely August 11th, whereupon there will be a solar eclipse, the Cassini probe will crash into Mir and both will fall to earth (New York and London), a raging Ebola virus will be set free from Uganda, the Russian nuclear power authority will do a Y2K test that goes wrong, India and Pakistan go to war, earths magnetic poles will flip over and a new ice age will begin. Alternatively it will be cloudy and it will rain that day (drizzle). I don't know which is worse.

The drizzle would definitely be worse. The news people wouldn't have a thing to talk about.

And the rest of us will sit about wondering why we lost a finger while indulging in the innocent pastime of picking our noses!

I hadn't realized that catastrophically abrupt nasal constriction was a sign of the Apocalypse. Suddenly I find myself worried, and somewhat sniffley.

I believe the Ugandan Government has the matter in hand, so to speak. Idi Amin is coming out of retirement and will be proclaimed King of Scotland. This forsightful appointment, carrying with it the powers and history of dealing with disasters of yesteryear, is I feel saintly. 3 cheers for Idi - Hip Hip Hooray, hip Hip.......

The first sign of the end of the world will be exploding sheep, don't ask me why it just will be!

Closely followed by flying pigs. I imagine it will be raining cats and dogs shortly after.

Sounds like there might be a severe shortage of sturdy umbrellas. And mops.