h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The following is a brief message from the offices of GOD - almighty!



*If you would like to devote some of your spare time to helping out new users, please leave your details here & some ideas for your patronage.

Thanks

- Simply, High Spirited*

http://www.h2g2.com/F37639?thread=54177&post=434949latest=20 just a convenient link for those of us who are trying to keep up. this will load only the latest 20 posts to this thread.

Moshi mosh

Thanks for the welcome, Zax! What with my own website being the lab-rat-maze of dead ends that it is, I think missing links is a very good idea for my patronage

I have absolutely nothing to say here. I just want to see the new angels.

* St.Peter slips an elaborate book mark >HERE< , whilst waving at the Captain... *

St.Peter - Welcome !!!

Within days you will be flying about just like a... chicken !!!

(Well it requires dedication to soar over & about gulfstreams and eddies... )

St.P.

Hang in there.. ceremony is pending!

* Down the Boulevard of Dreams blue & red garlands gaily line the walk, souls are gawking about at the sheer grandeur of the place. Today, the very first Open Day in Heaven’s history, has lead to a wide assortment of people from the wide vista of human experience descending on the place... *

* A couple in their late forties stroll past... *

Man - Hmmm...it’s quite clean !

Woman - Yes, quite clean...

Man - Well maintained...

Woman - Yes, very well maintained...

* Now obviously, we have inadvertently followed one of the least interesting pairings here, but over HERE... *

* HE stands watching the tourist, eyeing off all & sundry, casually checking off in his mind’s eye those who wouldn’t make it here, even if Reality went on a long pleasure cruise - just before going on holiday. The Archangel Zax is busily being driven out of his mind by the young children happily undoing all the garlands, trampling the immaculate manicured lawns and generally operating like pint-sized urban terrorists... *

St.Peter - Now if we could get the Ceremony under way before the greater hordes come scrambling through the Pearly Gates !!!

* Saint Tweetie is busily making a nuisance of herself fussing over GOD’s appearance. The continual insistence that the flower lodged over one ear would be a nice friendly touch is greeted by a mild grumbling. To which HE insists that if ‘Allah was here right now, HE would be called a big girls blouse...!!!’ *

Well, I suppose we had better get on with it !!!

* With that, Saint Ioreth ushers forth Capt. Al Boy... *

GOD - I hereby dub you Saint (Capt.) Al Boy the Patron Saint of Missing Links !!!

May you go forth and rebind all those links society has broken in the name of progress !!!

* With that, a blinding flash of light emanates from a golden sword that swirls overhead before playing seductively with the sunlight, then it really gets into its stride by playing with the new saints nerves as it comes perilously close to his neck and comes to rest on his shoulder. Thus, there springs forth a set of golden wings & a pure white halo... the crowd ‘breaks’ out in semi-rapturous applause... *

* HE turns towards Courtney *

GOD - I hereby dub you Saint Courtney the Patron Saint of Social Embarrassment !!!

May you go forth and show humanity that there is nothing more embarrassing than being less than perfect !!!

* With that, Saint Fashion Cat tries to start a Mexican Wave, but it is still technically night to her, as she hasn’t gone to bed, yet... *

* A few syllables ago the sight of a golden sword could be quite clearly seen, and just then, some china white wings besmirched by a rather obvious stain appeared, along with a halo that Saint Courtney just can’t seem to straighten...!!! *

* A round of applause is elicited by St.Peter promptings, although the notoriously w*rkshy saints should never really get out of bed before lunchtime, even less be required to show enthusiasm THIS early on...!!! *

* Its about this time Saint Justin & Saint Cloughie can’t hold the gates any longer !!! Humanity in all its glory & banality is about to test the angelic resolve...!!! *

Whoo hoo! Thanks, God!

Right, I'm off to find some new users to harrass... erm, welcome

*flies off*

Um....Hi....How do I become a guardian angel?

Send $20 in an unmarked envelope to...

Seriously?

If you want to be a Guardian Angel, you have come to the right place...!!!

If you would like a specific patronage or a general area you want your patronage to represent, now is the time to make it known...

A ceremony will take place later to officially welcome you into the ranks...

- Simply, High Spirited.

No I wasn't serious, Clelba. *whispering* But it couldn't hurt.

*Disclaimer: I'm still not being serious.

Is this the right place to come if I want to be a guardian angel? It should be. Can I be one? Maybe of something to do with chocolate or cats.

This is the right place Celba.

As for your patronage, I don't think we have anything close to chocolate or cats (correct me if I'm wrong, Angels), so they would be free. Come to think of it, there's quite a few feline researchers around the guide who have no Angel to look over them. Patron Saint of Cats (or Felines, Furry Things, ect.) would be good.

Of course, it's really up to you.

How about the Patron Saint of Chocolate Cats?

*A presence enters complete with a tea=pot*
We *need* a patron saint of chocolate cats.

William Jenkins, PS of Tea
(This has nothing to do with me 'knowing' Clelba in real life!)

What?

It's always a sage policy, deny EVERYTHING !!!

* HE looks at the ceiling, which is quite strange for HE is under the stars... *

Don't worry Saint William, we will admit to being your friends...

BTW Saint Jeltz has opened up a cafe in Heaven, and he needs someone to make the tea !!!

Greetings Clelba, I think the Patron Saint of Chocolate Cats would be purrfect !!!

Within the next 24 hours, the ceremony will take place...

Then you will truly be able to live life on a wing & a prayer...

- Simply High Spirited.

Yay! How do I go about helping people?