h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If you would like to devote some of your spare time to helping out new users, please leave your details here & some ideas for your patronage.

Thanks

- Simply, High Spirited.

Just trying to keep an eye on the new thread...

Yes, fine threads tend to go out of fashion quickly...

- Simply, High Spirited.

Shame really. Some get overrated, some get underrated and forgotton.

i'm looking for a set of wings. how do i get them?

You've come to the right place. The only alternative would be to make your own. That has some advantages, but it has problems of its own...
You're better off being an angel.

I would like to make another request for descriptions of the saints so I can do the portrait. I am also "bookmarking" this thread.

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Patron Saint of Brevity

Also bookmarking

3

JOTD: If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut

Well I answered yes to at least one of the questions, but I'm not entirely sure how much of my 112 hours of free time a week (the other 56 are reserved for sleeping though some of the 112 are used for that also)I could manage to donate. I don't think I could manage more than ten hours a week at two hours a day as Weekends are sacred and not to be offended lest someone sneak up on me and turn me into a productive citizen.

Oh I'm a retired unix administrator/programmer/convenience store clerk/etc.. so I could probably lend a hand on some of the page design and scripting if asked repeatedly until I got around to it. Oh and yes it is odd that I'm retired at 25 but I'm not complaining.

So...do I get a personally signed Autograph from GOD - almighty? Oh and the rest of the stuff too.

* HE is LOL at Saint Jester's last statement, although he knows full well that celestial beings shouldn't... *

Do you have any preference for a sainthood Moo Juice ?

Perhaps the Patron Saint of Animal Husbandry ?

- Simply, High Spirited.

Hey, I wish I could retire at 25. In fact, I wish I could retire right now.

Well I hadn't planned on retiring yet, I may write up something telling everyone how I managed this feat sometime but for now there's food on the table that must be consumed.

I would like to be a patron saint please. If it is possible I would like to be the patron saint of tea.

* After 'diddling' with an asteroid belt all day HE appears... *

Don't worry Dan, I know the feeling...

Still, Tomorrow's another day...

* Mentally adds '... with another Million Billion things to do... *

Anyway, after carefully looking over your microfish records John, Willam and Moo Juice we gladly accept your application...

If you have a preference for a sainthood John, or a general area you would like to devoted yourself to, we will see what we can do...

* HE looks at Big 'Evil' Dan. Thinks 'I know, I know, but I don't think the Patron Saint of Lucky Bastards is really a becoming title... *

BTW Dan, perhaps you might like a go at wielding the Golden Sword and conducting the ceremony ???

- Simply, High Spirited.

Well...only about 30% or so of managing to retire so young was blind luck. There was about another 30% skill and such with the remaining 40% being dumb luck as opposed to blind.

As to my patronage...after giving it many rather distracted minutes of somewhat less than deep thought I believe I would prefer to be the patron saint of "etc..." as it will save at least another five minutes of trying to think up a witty patronage and cover anything not currently or in the future being patronized. "Patronized?" That can't be the correct way of saying it but then again I am an American so it's not terribly important or required of me.

Oh well, off to take yet another ten hour nap through the daylight hours. I find evening through early morning far better than the normal human hours for being awake as you don't have to worry so much about the bright yellow thing outside bothering your eyes and such.

The Golden Sword? Really? I must say that I'm honoured. Where did you leave it?

And John, I must say I'm pleased to not only have greeted you to H2G2, inducted you into Weekendism, but to have also gotten the chance to make you a Saint.

Now if I can get you to worship Weevils and Brownies, the brainwashing will be complete.

Well while my mind could use a good scrubbing at times according to some there remains the fact that I am not entirely sure what a weevil even is much less feel them worthy of being worshiped. For my worship of food-like products I must choose pizza over brownies. It's far more versatile, though brownies are downright tasty.

* HE produces the skeleton key from the cabinet in his office, and hands it to Big 'Evil' Dan knowingly... *

John, we have a vacancy for the Patron Saint of the Accident Prone, that you might like to fill-in for the meantime. Poor old Saint Roger got sucked into the engine of a passing 747. Needless to say, we have never had better 'coverage' from him. Unfortunately, after this being the seventh 'incident' this year, he is looking for a change.
If you come up one with something else later, I'm sure we can come to an arrangement...

We also have a few lost souls out there requiring their very own Guardian Angel...

The first one I, thought Saint Big 'Evil' Dan might be able to cover, as I know he has been jealous of Zax 'posse' for a while...

Zarniroop at http://www.h2g2.com/U132645

Also, Stipey Z Rickenbacker desires someone who can strike a friendly chord. So here is a chance for those of you who haven't got someone under your wing; as yet. Please post a confirmation here, then go to

http://www.h2g2.com/U132287

Thankyou...

- Simply, High Spirited.

Well it appears I have plenty of time to sit and think up a patronage at the moment. I decided to update internet explorer without a very speedy connection so I have at least an hour to kill.

*grumbles about microsoft on principle and glares at the small gent under the desk with a teletype machine that passes for his internet connection*

While I would be glad to fill in as the P.S. of the accident prone until one can be located I think I would prefer to have a fulltime patronage of the technologically frustrated. I've managed to find the cause of quite a few frustrations and their cure through experiencing them myself.

*glares at the short man under the desk again and considers looking into the cost of an OC256 ran to his home*