h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Here's the new thread that was requested.

God, I think I'd like to be the Patron Saint of Weekendism, if that's okay. I'd like to keep weekendism in my name somewhere, and it would be too long with another patronage.

Do you think you're up to it, Dan?

I agree with God; while Saint of the Dead is good, Chemically Challenged is exquisite, and definitely subsumes deadheadism.

*goes back to the beach to practise hovering*

Ummm, am I Patron Saint of the Dead or Patron Saint of the Chemically Challenged? Not much difference I know but it's important for the business cards!

Siml-post!! Despite being 21 minutes apart. I'm sticking with Chemically Challenged!

Thanks, Lil

St loreth: Am I up to it? Of course! Could I have chosen an easier patronage?

How about Patron Saint of Sleep?

ATTENTION to whomever is handling this: God asked me to design a logo and I have. Who is to receive this logo?

um.. i believe He wanted it sent to the address on the N.G.A. homepage... i could be wrong tho..

* Wanders in with a benevolent smile... *

Ah...Lil, how spendid of you do complete it for us, and so quickly too. I know it is good, but that's just MY secret way...

If you could please send it to [email protected] we would be most grateful...

Any Angels still floating around in space, still trying to find Heaven. Please contact Saint Zax there as well...

Saint Ioreth, should just now be making plans for the ceremony to induct the new saints...

Watch This Space...

- Simply, Zzzzzzz...

*A band plays "Ride of the Valkyries" just for fun*

*A courtier enters, unrolls a scroll.*

*He reads the proclamation thereon:*

"Whereas, they have requested such an honor."

"And whereas, they appear to meet the requirements."

"And whereas, GOD is an all-around nice fellow."

"I now call Big Evil Dan, of Weekendism, and Doctor John, currently wearing black, for the recieving of Sainthood and Angelship."

*A loud crashing sound is heard. Doctor Johnn looking a bit tipsy, stumbles in. Behind him, Big Evil slowly meanders into the room.*

"And now, your host, Saint Ioreth of Happy Accidents."

*Io glides in.*

TO BE CONTINUED...

I wanna be a saint! But is it okay to be a saint and agnostic? I mean, I don't want to feel excluded because of my religious beliefs. I feel like the patron saint of long-distance relationships

LOL! Yeah? and i still wanna be a FREAK!

well?


S.Z.*

*spazzing out at 3am

Don't worry Cutlery. My worship of both brownies AND the Weekend still got me a spot.

Yeah, and i'm (somehow) a Saint for all three!

Gotta love forgiving/accepting quasireligions!

LOL!
Saint Zax*

*a triune unto itself..

uh... er... that is, MYself!

I would like to be a saint. I am very deaded, making me quite qualified for the job. Please consider me. Thanks, O God Almighty.

Yeah, but how the hell do I know if/when I'm sainted? And St Zax, ur already a freak, you have been for a while.

Can I get a round of applause?

*Vigorous clapping ensues.*

Thank you.

Now, for our first contestant, er, Saint. I'd like to call Doctor John! Come on down.

*DJ walks over, looking, for the first time in his life, speechless.*

Now, kneel.

*He does so.*

*Saint Io takes the great Golden Sword in her hand, and contemplates how easy it would be, in one whack, to... Oh, never mind.*

*She instead taps him on each shoulder, and the forehead.*

I hereby proclaim you Saint Doctor John of the Chemically Challenged.

*All of a sudden, wings and a halo appear in their proper locations.*

Now, off with you. NEXT!

Big Evil Dan, get over here.

*does the funky business with the sword*

I now proclaim you Saint Big Evil Dan of Weekendism.

*Loud applause.*

*Wings and a halo appear.*

No! That's backwards! Wings don't go on his head!

*After a brief operation with the Golden Sword, all is well. More applause.*

Now, could I get a drink?