h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Been to Chepstow Show today - sadly a bit of a washout, but I did do the nice chap at the stall from Kingstone Brewery, Tintern, a bit of trade, and hence have a fridge containing six nice local beers which I shall sample tonight for the delectation of the Horse & Groom regulars. I shall try and turn out at least one good food match and a suitable jukebox tune for each one. Feel free to join in, ask questions or simply tell me what you're drinking tonight.

B

Brew one, randomly chosen, is entitled '1503' and the recipe allegedly is one of the oldest in brewing.

It's a thick, rich porter - not generally my chosen beverage, to be honest. Lots of dark chocolate and farmyard straw on the nose. Pours thick and completely ungassily and is a dark coca-cola colour in the glass. The burnt flavours become slightly overpowering through the middle of the pint and detract from the beer's finer tones.

/5

Food match: Leaving aside the obvious 'bitter chocolate' match, I can see this one going well with some sticky ribs or perhaps a glazed rack of lamb.

Jukebox: You want something morbidly humourous to go with this...how about http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfGIt0Fwhl4

B

Number two rejoices in the name of Humpty Dumpty's Downfall. It's a robust IPA, again with very little gas, pouring quite cloudy and dark amber. The flavour of the first one takes time to dissipate (perhaps a mistake to taste these randomly), but reveals HDD to have bags of ripe fruit covering distinct bitter hops (Fuggles, according to the bottle). Only the slightly Olde Worlde cloudiness stops this from hitting full marks.

/5

Food choice - Definitely a beer to have with cheese, this one. I'd go for some light, creamy Wensleydale or Lancashire.

Jukebox - You'll be wanting something with strength and surety of its roots. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EotM7FH8uQg

B

Number 3 is simply entitled Classic Bitter. Pours with a little gas, clearer than the IPA and has a nose of refreshing peach blossoms.

After two pretty heavy brews, it's like drinking a ray of sunshine - light, fragrant, summery and herby. Delightful!

/5

Food choice - I'd put this one together with a spaghetti carbonara or perhaps - at a pinch - a fish pie.

Jukebox - Hmm...light, flowery, summery and cool. You'll be wanting this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1xsp6PO9qs

B

Right then. Three Castles Ale. I actually appear to be drinking these in 'reverse H&G order', rather than completely random: in other words, I'm working towards the paler and lighter brews. Yes, it's almost certainly the wrong way round, but I might as well stick with it now.

The Three Castles pours crystal clear with only a slightly scummy head. There's a deeply satisfying, almost meaty aroma, and lots of smooth malt on the tongue. The hop blend is ideal for toning down any bitterness, although the whole thing is slightly watery.

Food match: I think this needs a good pate to set it off well: the deep rich flavours of the liver would provide a suitable contrast.

Jukebox: This is very much pub rock beer. Let's see now... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGJKkBmpMZA

B

Oops: /5 for the Three Castles...


...Number five: Challenger Bitter. The first four bottles of this tasting were relatively gas-free, so like the muppet that I am, I lob this one straight into the glass and end up with a pint that's 60% foam.

A few careful minutes' work later with a kitchen towel and a palette knife, and I'm left with a pleasantly amber-coloured drink with short shrift on the nose, and a riot of country flavours on the tongue: hops, wheat, barley, even a bit of nettle: they're all here.

Food choice: It's difficult to see beyond a pork pie and an apple here. Rustic? You don't get half of it from this beer.

Jukebox: You want to imagine yourself sitting in field full of tractors, real ales and cider...ah, yes: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfM6nRVBvGs

B

/5 for the Challenger.

I'm losing my touch, but apparently that Humpty Dumpty's was nigh-on 8.5%ABV.

One more to go...

B

Right, last but not least: this is Kinson's Gold, a pale ale. Again, unusually cloudy, and very little in the way of aroma.

Taste is watery at first, but later you get hints of fresh spring water and citrus fruit. Very little body to it though, and a somewhat disappointing way to end the evening.

/5

Food match: would work well with a curry - easy thirst quencher.

Jukebox: In a slightly bizarre move, I'm going to match this with the track I do like, but really shouldn't, from last May.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vz58Hw9hldw

That's all for tonight, folks.

B

Dammit. I could've joined you with my porters, but I've had work-only internet access for a few days

I don't think I'll ever drink again after last weekend in London I started halucinating the day after getting back

Yeah right

Incidentally, I spent the afternoon here
http://512brewing.com/index2.php

Dang, I love my job A new local brewery opens up and they say 'Come and try our beers!' and I say 'W-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-ll... okay'. You twisted my arm'.

Nice one! Bay's Brewery won't even send me a free bottle...

Sumbitch. I reckon they ain't gonna be doing too much business with you then.

I had a five minute conversation on the phone with their rep the other day, in which he tried to convince me to take a new beer they're producing, and I kept saying that I wouldn't carry any beer I hadn't tried. His response was basically that it was being sold in various pubs in town, and I should go and find one. Now come on, fella...

That'd better be some bloody good beer for them to have such a high-handed attitude.

On a completely irrelevant note, I could really use some piccalilli right now.

I've some olives if they'll do, or gherkins that are going down quite nicely to accompany this Hobgoblin I just found taking up a lot of room in teh cupbaord...