h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Gentleman's Gentleman's Guide To Cleaning Brass - A29618274
Author: SWL™ You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into. - U1775547

I humbly submit this for the edification, elucidation and education of the masses

Hi SWL, nice short and potentially handy little article.


""Moreover, brass no longer lends a household an air of sophistication and is more commonly found in the dwelling-places of the working classes. Alas, these poor souls have neither the education nor the experience to properly clean brass and this guide is therefore an absolute Godsend for such wretches"".

I think the above paragraph is, let's say somewhat patronising/derogatory even though possibly meant tongueincheek. Not sure that it adds to the article in anyway either to be honest.

Just my opinion.


ST.

It fits in well with the slightly ludicrous eccentric tone of the piece.

And face it, if SWL wrote an entry without potentially upsetting someone, the universe could well implode.

Oh I'm not saying it needs 'removing', just making the point that it could well be seen as derogatory that was all.

SWL certainly does right some cracking stuff that always stir debate thats for sure. That's what makes them good articles.

I personally don't like laquer or clear varnish on brass's, I like polishing brass, it can be therapeutic........................ have to go now, the men in white coats have come for me.

I'm lovin' it!

Couple of points:

You might want to warn people that ammonia, if used neat, is rather toxic - as would the spray (lacquer or polywotsit) be and therefore very good ventilation, if not outdoor use, would be advisable to avoid the potential risk of asphyxiation.

In the absence of Brasso, old cigarette ash in half a lemon works quite well. I am also reliably told (by my mother in law - *you* try arguing with her ) that mineral baby oil works far better than olive oil, which can stink after a while, especially if the item is kept in a warm, sunny or radiator-occupied space.

Great entry, SWL.

Are you trying to tell me that years of cleaning sodding brass weights could have been avoided with one good clean and then some lacquer?

I don't care about being called a poor wretch. Definitely working class. I hate the 'Godsend' more.

I really think, letting the prolatariat read such a well crafted entry is debasing to the entry itself, the droles shoudl be happy with thei position, and settle themseves with cleaning Gentilmans brass wears and not on having such thigns in their own posetion. Great, I dont' think anyone could read it and take offence as its quite clearly a tongue in cheek (and very highly amusing at that) take on the issue, I may have to attempt this with some of my Fathers brass statuettes, next time I'm at the country house of our family, we don't seem to have the same staff as we once did

Ok, small changes made to take out the unnecessary offence.

Would I be lowering the tone is I said 'Brasso' ?

I would also mention 'Dura-glit' which was more popular in the sixties, as it didn't leave a nasty stain on the masonry due to it being impregnated wadding. Interestingly they also both had a silver polishing derivative.

They were independent of each other, but I believe are now owned by the same company.

MMF

I really like this article, it shows yet again the quirkiness and flexibility of the EG and how different styles of writing can portray what appears to be an everyday mundane task to come alive and be funny, and serious at the same time. It's why we should stop comparing to the likes W*k* which is boring, often inaccurate and not a reliable source of data.

Nice one SWL, keep them coming.


ST. (Scout)

Agreed - another great read, SWL.

I confess I initially read it as the guide to cleaning bras. Maybe a follow-up entry?

Jaysus, man, don't be giving him ideas!

Another good'un causing more than one


You should remove the double quotes from Brasso though, and my dear old aunt used to polish off with newspaper.

Anybody home.

Couple of wee changes made.

... and how pretty and brassy it all looks.

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Great stuff SWL