h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[YK] No clue. Besides, what does a female clone of myself have to do with anything? Both girls Professor Rethlin made from scratch.

[Mackenzie] My personality is based on YK's, though.

[YK] Right, but to answer a rephrasal of your question, Billian .... Erm ... Hang on. YC, get the navicomputer and gimmy a list of all possible planets, star systems, and what-have-you whose names can be rearranged to spell "Thera" and have teleport-reflection shield capability. Flamingeaux, get ready for transport. Mew, be careful with that box.

[Link] Why "Thera"?

[YK] Lizzie (or Lizei) means "snowflake" in Meribean. "Merubi" means "snowflake" in Nubian. "Nobaya" means "snowflake" in Ferrian. "Feriam" means "snowflake" in Theiran. "Thera" means "snowflake" in Snafluk.

[Link] I see. Is that as far as the list goes?

[YK] No. "Snowflake" means "snowflake" in English. She didn't want to overdo it.

}And Thera's her favorite word?{

[Mew opens the package, revealing a box. The top opens, and a burst of pink energy drags Mew into the package]

MEW!

Oops, my mistake.

[Sees Mew being dragged into the box, and attempts to grab hold of him, but too late]
Darn. [Pounds on the box]
Hey, Mew! What're ya doing in there? Is there pizza? Mew!?!

Sorry I forgot to mention, but YC's left.


[YK] D'oh! MEW!

[YK attempts to open the box; YC returns]

[YC] None of them match, but here's the closest:

[He shows YK a datapad. Dominating the screen is:]

EARTH
96% MATCH

[YK] D'OH!

[YQ] If that's that, then how come Twinkle went to a planet with teleport-reflect?

[YC] Well, Erath works.

[Zelda] Well did she go there?

[YK] No. She's in that box. With Mew. I ha-- [stops; notices that everyone else was about to say something] All together now:

[All] I have a bad feeling about this!

*Coming back, Sylvia finds the front door clear. She walks in just in time to hear that last line.*

About what? *points to the box* And why is that box humming? Boxes don't usually hum. As far as I know, that is.

Say, YK, isn't that the package you left for Twinkle a while ago? Uh-oh.

[YK] Well, a pink vortex just zapped Mew into the box.

[YC] Running summary: Mackenzie's evil archetype, Elizabeth, has excaped from a carbon-freeze device and got Twinkle on a wild tresher chase to a planet with teleport reflection capability, actually staying on Earth. Mew has now been sucked into the box by a pink vortex. Thank you. [checks the datapad] By the way, the second-best bet is Rhea. It's got teleport reflect capability, but it's missing the T.

[YQ] Oughtn't we try to save Mew?

[YK] Right! [drumroll] Ladies and gentlemen ... I am going to open the box!

[Continue drumroll as YK opens the upper flaps of the box. Then the inner. He looks in. End drumroll and pause for three seconds]

[YK] Well darn my socks. The thing's empty!

[Begin drumroll again]

[YK] All right. I am going to ENTER THE BOX!

[He climbs in.]

[YK] Hmph. Nothing again! This is getting ... EEUGH! [vanishes in a purple burst of dematerialization]

[Without hesitation, Flamingeaux joins him]

[YC] Oh bloody Cheeze-Its! Hm ... I didn't sense any danger. All right! Everyone into the box!

[They all get into the box.]

[Very slow ripple, fading to pink. Then fade back to exactly the same thing, except for the box. No windows are visible from this angle]

[YC] D'oh! All this for nothing!

[Mackenzie taps him on the shoulder and points out the window. YC looks out and boggles. There is complete blank pinkness]

[Elizabeth] [voice over] Welcome.

[They all jump]

[Elizabeth] [voice over] I knew you'd get here eventually.

[Mackenzie] Show yourself!

[Elizabeth] [voice over] [chuckle] No, no, Kenzy, I'm not going to get within your sights THAT easily!

Er, whoops again. Meant to say YK vanishes in a PINK burst. Sorry.

[from nowhere] Mew! [echo]

*Fafnir notices everyone else leaving without him, and puzzles over how to get in the box. Eventually a lightbulb flashes above his head, and he reaches into the satchel for his own pokéball. Carefully, he tosses it in a high trajectory that will land it in the box, then immediately taps the button on it with one of his antennae. A few seconds later, a wobbling pokéball lands in the pinkness with the others.*

Uh, Fafnir? We're not all in pinkness. There's this duplicate of the HOUSE, and IT'S in the pinkness.


[Elizabeth] [voice-over] Oh, yes, Mew, you fell for my trap. Well, I'll deal with you soon enough.

[YC] Oh yeah?

[Elizabeth] [voice-over] Yeah! Whadda ya think you're gonna do about it? Huh?

[YC] Hmm. Well, I'd like at least to know where Twinkle is.

[Elizabeth] [voice-over] He thought I was going to Rhea, but he's been deflected back to the my little dimension here.

[YC notices the Poké Ball materialize next to him]

[Elizabeth] [voice-over] I've got you ...

[A young woman, apparently about half a year older than Mackenzie, enters the room right behind them. She is wearing a pink jumpsuit; she has blue hair and piercing red eyes]

[Elizabeth] ... right where I want you. [grins wickedly]

[She raises her hands, which begin to glow pink]

[YC] Oh yeah? Go, Fafnir!

[He steps on the Poké Ball, which opens, releasing Fafnir, who is DEFINITELY too big to fit in the box, so everyone is knocked everywhere. Elizabeth releases a blast of pink light, which had been going to hit the box, but it has no effect on Fafnir]

[Elizabeth] D'oh! It doesn't work on dragons!!

*Notices his antennae turning pink*
>Fafnir:< [Dragru?!]
*Fires a full-blast Hyper Beam at Elizabeth, which misses by a few inches, so it only completely obliterates a portion of her hair and blows a hole in the pinkness*

*From nowhere, Twinkle's echoey voice is heard saying:*
Hey! I'd know the sound of that Hyper Beam anywhere! But what is Fafnir doing here? Or me, for that matter? Or Mew? MEW? Hey, where have I seen that shade of pink before...?
*voice fades out*

[echo] Mew!

[Cut to Twinkle, in the pinkness. A reddish silhouette of YK is nearby, and a faint silhouette of the house is in another direction]

[YK] I think I can get us out of here!

[Twinkle] That would be a good thing. The pinkness dampens my magic, but Mew seems to be doing fine. *Glances around* Hey, where did Mew go, anyway?

[YK] No clue, actually. C'mon, let's get over to the house.

[They approach the house. Meanwhile, inside, Navi is hovering over Elizabeth's head, glowing yellow; a "sights" is on her.]

[Elizabeth] This is enough!

[She raises her hands and another pink glow appears between them. YK's lightsaber immediately crashes through the window. Elizabeth, seeing it, transforms it into banana fruitcake and gets it full in the face]

Now I remember! The pink isn't pink! It's magenta!
*pulls a color wheel out of his pocket*
Let's see, magenta... That's it!
Fafnir, use a green Type 3 modified Hyper Beam!
*The room is filled with a blinding green light, and when it fades, the pinkness is gone*
There. Now we're on a level playing field. My magic ought to work.
}Mew, can you hear me? We're going to need some backup.{

[Mew materializes next to YK]

}Here I am!{