h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So, here we are...

~Greebo settles back in her seat... peering out of the large cabin window at all the pretty stars whizzing by...~

G'day sorry about the delay (I've been fishing again). First waypoint on our journey is The Limitless Light Fields of Flanux. Keep a sharp lookout as I have it on good authority that they aren't limitless after all. Otherwise just relax and feel free to enjoy the extensive facilities available to our passengers and crew.

Rocket

Let's get going then!!

*starts running around the ship and helping with the controls and other devices where she can*

Alien, please go to that keyboard over there and just start punching numbers(any numbers will do). I'll open another beer and we'll be on track. Has anyone seen my star chart?

Rocket

*walks to the keyboard and starts hitting "42" repeatedly*

Your star chart? It wouldn't be this one, would it?
*shows something that perhaps sometimes was a piece of paper but now looks like someone has cleaned the table with it, used it as a handkerchief and then checked if it floats in beer*

Yep, that's it. Looks like we'll have to do this the hard way. *walks over to the navigation computer and presses enter* You know, the last time I did that, I wound up somewhere totally different to where I expected. So this time I expect to go anywhere but where I want to go. So it might just work. Weird I know, but this is infinite improbably drive after all.

Rocket

*Looks out of the window trying to keep track of the stars flying by.*

Damn, I have no idea where we are any more... But it's quite improbable the most improbable place we could end up is just where we're going to...

*Walks back to the keyboard with numbers and continues hitting "42".*

I really like this ship... Mine doesn't have the infinite improbably drive so it always does what's probable ie ceases running the hyperdrive when it's urgently needed...

*Hits some random numbers for a while, returns then back to 42.*

~Greebo suddenly notices she has been very quiet for a week~

*Alien suddenly notices Greebo has stopped looking out of the window with an empty look in her eyes.*

WELCOME BACK!!!

hey you guys! hey ! i got the shovels! leaving me in the hangar was pretty damn low. you have a loudspeaker system here y'know.

Leaving you in the han-? Oops... We were sure you were on board hiding somewhere...

*hastur suddenly appears on board with all the shovels and the groovy droid*

Hey, what happened??
Oh, it must be the infinite improbably drive...

Hi guy's sorry about being rather quiet for the last five days, but I've had a slight R.L problem with an improbable cyclone. Normality appears to be returning (I think). So onward my friends. Oh and welcome aboard hastur.

Rocket

so, uh what are we doing here? saving the universe? cruising for chicks? perhaps just searching for the perfect pub? let me in on this stuff maybe that way i won't be left behind.

I suppose we were about to check out god's last message to its creation... But saving the Universe wouldn't be too bad either... Though it's not really clear (at least for me - Rocket must know better... ) how the infinite improbably drive works so we might just be journeying aimlessly around...

Hey guy's just carry on,as my server got hit by 200+kph winds and is a bit dodgey at the moment. Alien, you have the helm at the moment, so take as where we are most needed. Hastur keep those shovels handy. Got to go right now as the power is about to go off again. I have every confidence in my crew to find the infinitly improbable places to go. I'll be back as soon as I can find some sort of normality IRL.

Rocket (not quite blown away by the storm)

i feel that the helm would be better replaced by a nice sharp shovel instead of a bulky keyboard. in fact i shall set about making that to happen since confidence is vested in some crew or other... KA-CHUNG... that should do it we now have a nice servicable steering shovel for the ship.

*Starts daydreaming when sharp shovels are mentioned.
Realizes that the ship was supposed to be taken care of.
Presses a button.
Sits back in her chair and thinks that the infinite improbably drive and an autopilot sure is a great combination.
Closes her eyes but before getting any sleep hears an odd sound.
Slowly opens her eyes again.*

Hmm... It looks like we've been hit by an asteroid...

*Falls asleep.*

~Greebo jumps on to Alien's lap... and curls up...~

some thin metal snow shovels will be needed for maneuvers in some planetary atmospheres, fins you know, i'll get to work on those as soon as i can decide which parts of the ship to scrap for the materials. we-ll i do believe we picked up some fnords from that last meteor or whatever it was, they (the fnords) are collecting around the hull at an alarming rate. something should be done and i know just what it is, procrastination. i'll get to that later though...