h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Britney Spears - A27533450
Author: Olé! - not trendy enough to haiku - U519437

It's an ongoing story and difficult to document, but I think this brings the reader up to speed.

And the reason for the subject? Well... I'm going for the well-rounded award. Or an h2g2 t-shirt.

Enjoy. All comments welcome, short of flaming.

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Brilliant

Hey, you forgot how long Britney was a virgin which Justin Timberlake's pals guffawed at for quite some time.

Then there was the time she exchanged emails with Prince William, and declared she could be Queen of England if she wanted...and the emails abruptly stopped.

I'd laugh if it wasn't all so tragic.

I thought nobody knew how long she was virgin...? At least, one source said she dropped hints after the Timberlake breakup that she wasn't one anymore.

>>emails<< I believe it. When did that happen?

Tragic is the word. I mean, she's like an oversized teenager. Preserve us all from such fame and fortune.

I'm pretty sure she was for some time while she was with Justin, but I seem to remember her saying she slept with him eventually because she thought they'd be together forever. (She was a no sex before marriage person).

"who proposed in June 2004." - this makes it sound like Britney proposed to him. Is that right?

"363 days after Sean Preston was born, Jayden James entered the world as Sutton Pierce (according to K-Fed; Britney won)." I'm not sure what you're trying to say here. Did K-Fed want to call him Sutton Pearce and Britney want Jayden James?

"Britney fired her lawyer." I thought her lawyer quit?

Didn't she also join the management company The Firm only to get dropped soon afterwards?

This is good, but I think you focus too much on the tabloid aspect to the detriment of her career. There's nothing really in here on her singles, albums, awards etc, and I think you need something.

Yes, she proposed.
Yes, they seem to have had a naming dispute. I'll try to make it clearer.
Yes - I don't know about her lawyer. I read that somewhere. MTV, maybe? If you say he quit, it's good enough for me too.
No - I never heard of this The Firm, but tell me about it.
And yes, I did skip her career because I don't know a thing about it and it doesn't interest me much, but if you can mention the highlights, I'll do my best to find out about them and put them in.

Re - The Firm and her lawyer (Laura Wasser): http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7000218.stm

She was only with The Firm for a month of two, I think.

As far as her career goes, I'm no expert, but I'll try:

First hit (debut single I believe) was Hit Me Baby One More Time - massive hit, possibly due to her dancing around in a schoolgirl unifrom in the video. This was also during a very poppy time in music - Backstreet Boys and the like were also doing very well.

Very successful album sales and hit singles (many releases before illegal downloading really took off). I think she's released four or five albums including a Greatest Hits. I think one of her albums (possibly called In The Zone) might have been a bit of a critical and/or commercial flop.

She's also done a couple of covers of classic rock songs on her albums. (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction by the Rolling Stones and I Love Rock and Roll by various people including Joan Jett. Both are pretty rubbish.

Hope that's helpful, maybe as a starting point for more research?

This is excellent, Leo.

But I think it needs:

1. a little about the music she sings. What sort is it? Has she had many hits?

2. a better conclusion. You could lift the line "The saga will not end" from the introduction and put it at the end.

A few minor points:

it was difficult to be dumber than Britney Spears (Paris Hilton succeeded) -- I think this would be better if you put the word "although" before "Paris Hilton".

Mrs. Spears's -- remove the full stop. h2g2 Style doesn't use full stops after abbreviations.

practicing three hours a day --> practising three hours a day

on the show. Until the show ended in 1994. -- I'm not a great fan of sentence fragments like this, although I have used them occasionally. You could change it to:

on the show - until the show ended in 1994.

but it is up to you and your personal preference.

G

how about you change the title to Britney Spears: the background then you don't have to write about the "music"


I liked it, especially the Bacteria/Cabbage combo

but I have one thing to say and that is in the Charming Child section, you have her going to New York City - as preparation for the Mickey Mouse Club. Then she's on Broadway before being cut adrift at 13. Then she goes to NYC - isn't Broadway in NYC?

Anyway, that's a fairly minor quibble.

Zing it's good.

But we should dwell on the time that Britney snogged Madonna. Or vice versa. There was someone else in there too. Aguilera maybe?

This seemed to be the time that Britney's maidenhead was breached.

The only issue with changing the name is that it's a T shirt challenge, and if it focusing too much on the tabloid aspect, it might not fulfil the eds' requirements. I doubt they'd be that picky, but you never know.

ah, in that case you'll be needing some kind of discography

(and the snogging Madonna thing - wasn't that at an MTV awards thing?)

Yeah, it was during a performance I think.

I think this is an excellent introduction to Britney, who is surely more famous for her antics and attitudes than for her music. I think a short paragraph or two about the music would be enough to make it publishable.

http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1477729/20030828/spears_britney.jhtml

Oh and the makers of Doctor Who had the Earth exploding to "a classic" - Toxic by Britney Spears - in the year 5 billion.

I think I've got everything. There's nothing about breast implants or virginity because there's nothing factual about that, just a lot of rumor and hearsay, as far as I can tell.

How does it look?

It looks good.

Her first single, '...Baby, One More Time', released in 1998 -->
Her first single, '...Baby, One More Time', was released in 1998

sold over one million copies in the first week of release, and breaking the record for highest debut-week sales for a solo artist -->
sold over one million copies in the first week of release, breaking the record for highest debut-week sales for a solo artist

Britney returned to the music scene in 2007 with the album 'Blackout' and the hit single 'Gimme More', which is Britney's greatest hit since '...Baby One More Time'. -- change the second "Britney" in that sentence to "her"

I would say "biggest hit" instead of "greatest hit" there, but that's just me.

"Her second, 'Oops...I Did It Again' sold over one million copies in the first week of release, and breaking the record for highest debut-week sales for a solo artist. The catchy title also entered the public vocabulary, and has been parodied for many tabloid headlines topping articles about Britney's antics. The third, released in 2000, was modestly entitled 'Britney' and sold a correspondingly modest three-quarters of a million in its first week out. Album #4, 'In the Zone', included original work by Britney, and debuted at #1 with a relatively unimpressive 600,000 sales. The critics were unimpressed, but 'In the Zone' made Britney the only female artist to debut four albums at #1."

Can you make it a bit clearer where you're talking about US sales and where they're worldwide?

Also, 600,000 first week sales would certainly not be unimpressive today. I think only about 2 or 3 albums this year have sold that much first week on Billboard. Back when it was releases it might have been unimpressive compared to her other cds, but compared to other people, I daresay it was pretty good. I don't know, that's just a minor niggle.

It looks good to me, anyway.

I'd say "greatest hit". Albums of hits are always called "greatest hits", never "biggest hits".

I'd love to specify if it was in the US or worldwide, but I can't seem to find anyplace that specifies. Wiki, Rolling Stones, and other places just say "she sold x million". Can I assume that means worldwide?

The 600,000 was preceded by a 'relatively' for just that reason. Meant to be ironic, but I can add quotes around 'unimpressive' if you think it needs it.