A virtual pub crawl around Dublin

As St. Patricks day is nearly upon us, and the hotels and taxis of Dublin are stretched to capacity, I thought I'd collate a virtual pub crawl around the fair city for those researchers who can't make it over here.

We'll start at the Icon bar , up by Leopardstown racetrack, because its a fair way out of the city and we'll not get taxis later on in the day. Greet the landlord and hand over your hard won punts - and savour that blissful quiet as the first pint of the black stuff settles itself down. This first pint is to be taken slowly and conversation will be muted and on such topics as the weather and what the form is like for the next race.

Now we head down the Stilllorgan dual-carriageway¹ towards Sandymount and the Merrion Inn which is known as the "M1" to the locals. Here we will have another pint, and perhaps a hot whiskey to warm the soul, and talk will be of the paintings on the walls and the nature of art in general. If we are in time for lunch then I'd recommend the homemade burger with whiskey and mushroom sauce, a gourmet treat for only IR£4.95.

Fortified and starting to feel warm inside, it is time to take the DART² to the city centre itself. Our first port of call is Messrs. Maguires where it is customary to try a pint of "extra" which is a double brewed stout with a very hoppy taste. Most of the people I've accompanied here don't like it and so switch back to the Guinness, but I have acquired a taste for it so will probably have another pint. By now conversation should have turned to the eternal mysteries of life, such as which side of an Irish coin constitutes heads and why the bubbles in a pint that's settling appear to go downwards.³

If you've been good then I'll treat you to a pint in Mulligans round the corner, which is a real "auld fellahs" pub which does the best pint of Guinness in Dublin⁴ but I'll make sure that you don't remember the way, as a crowd would surely spoil the place. Conversation will be on whatever topic the drunkest of the locals chooses, for we are in his "place".⁵

By now we'll be itching to see the parade itself, so we'll walk around the corner to The Dawson Lounge which is the smallest pub in Dublin, and has the feel of having been built in someone's cellar. Here we will skull⁶ a couple of pints in anticipation of the parade itself. Conversation will be optional.

Dashing out to St. Stephens green we'll find that all the best vantage points have long since gone and we haven't the strength to stand so we'll go for a lie down in the middle of the park, with a bottle of cheap Champagne....and possibly doze off.

If at any point you should find yourself in The Montrose , Doyle's or the UCD Students bar, don't panic - I'm sure there's 'craic' and drink to be found wherever you are!

Slainté