h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi mrs the wife,

We went through controlled crying a little while ago, and it does seem to work. Though hearing him *was* torture, it didn't last long and now he (mostly) sleeps through the night. We got a book beforehand (How to Solve your Child's Sleep Problems) which explained the rationale behind controlled crying. Bascially, we all have triggers which help us get to sleep - a pillow being a certain height, the lights off, a particular bed - and if one of those triggers changes, we all have trouble getting to sleep. Controlled crying helps babies get to sleep all by themselves.

We never did controlled crying at night as we live in a flat and it just seemed too antisocial as well as being horrid for us. We just did it during the day. The crying started off at around 40 minutes and gradually reduced to a few minutes over two weeks. To mask the sound I put on the washing, the radio, the television, the tumble dryer, I even got out my sewing machine. Then I'd time the minutes being really strict with myself though I really wanted to check on him every other minute.

He snuggles down now, he sometimes cries for a few seconds, but nothing more. He always wakes up grumpy though - I couldn't believe it when other mothers told me 'I love it when I go in in the mornings and I see her little face light up with a smile'. Dom's never done that!

Good luck and let us know how you get on

Controlled crying can be tough going for a while (I was VERY lucky,,it only took 1 night!)but it really is worth the effort as it works 100% in the vast majority of cases. good luck

One night? You are soooo lucky, or did you have another trick up your sleeve?!

Nope no tricks..was just lucky!..lol
Its the only time hes ever been easy with anything though!

Hi Anna

Thank you so much for the info - you might just save my sanity.

Charlotte (my daughter) can go off to sleep at night OK, but despite being desperately tired, won't go down for a nap during the day - but she will sleep if she is cuddled by whoever is looking after her (me/my husband/my mother).

When she gets over tired she cries constantly and despite eye rubbing, drooping eyelids and endless yawns she still fights sleep.

She tends to doze off during the morning breastfeed and I transfer her to her cot where she will happily for another couple of hours, but if I cannot transfer her asleep - again she will not doze off unless I hold her - I can't breastfeed her for too much longer, she's getting some very sharp teeth!

It sounds as if controlled crying might be the answer. I'll let you know how we get on.

I don't want to put you off, but I'm not entirely sure controlled crying works all the time.
I think it depends on why the child isn't sleeping. If they are just calling for attention, then yes, it will work, but if they are genuinely scared of going to sleep alone, I think it can have adverse affects.

We found much simpler, and less stressful, ways which worked with our son.
Like your daughter, he was getting overtired during the day, but refused to have a nap. This would lead to him getting irritable and being a right little terror for the rest of the day.

The first thing we did was get his feeds into a regular routine, as you have noticed, right after a feed, they get very tired. So shedule it so their morning feed is just before their nap time.

Secondly, we stopped him having anything exciting or stimulating for 1 hour before his nap was due. No toys, no riding dad like a horsie, no tickling/laughing etc.

Finally we made sure his room was as dark as possible, no night lights, no door opened. And we left him in his cot alone.
When he cried we would go in and simply repeat 'shhhh it's time to sleep' until he stopped crying. Then sneak out once he closed his eyes.

This took us about 3 days, and since then we have had no problems getting him to nap.
I think every child has their own personality, so what works for one, may not work for another, but this may be worth a go before you go through the stress of listening to them cry themselves to sleep.

I wish you every sucess with your littlun, let us know what works!

Simon the

Dear mrs the wife,

Glad to help - sounds like Simon's got some good suggestions too. It does sound like your little one's trigger is having a lovely snuggly time with you!



Anna