h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As someone who has had three totally different labours I don't believe that you should pay too much attention to what the books say.

My first was very premature and tiny, but without the months of Braxton Hicks contractions and hormones to prepare me I found labour and delivery not much easier than at term. Charlotte was born in hospital after twenty seven hours of labour. I had a mobile epidural (which I would recommend to anyone given the option) after the first ten hours or so, and desperately needed it. They nearly didn't let me have it because I was only four centimetres dilated but I cried and they gave in. Isobel was born at home after fifteen hours. I was exhausted but it was only really bad for the last couple of hours and I managed with gas and air.

The only advice I was given that was much good was first, trust your instincts, because you know better than anyone else what's going on in your body, and second, when you feel you're not going to manage and you might as well give up you are in transition and the last stage has arrived.

A home birth is really worth considering and I'd be happy to talk about it to anyone who's interested. I'll definitely opt for one next time.

Next time? Is there something you and Jim want to tell us

I had 2 completely different labours too. My first was 10 days overdue, so I was induced. I went from sitting watching the telly to contracting every minute in an instant I was in labour for 7 hours, and the epidural was a blessing! Toby was 7lb 15oz.

Second time round. I was 3 weeks late, and went to be checked and booked in for inducing. They said to come back in 2 days....I was back within 5 hours! I was in labour for 15 hours, had the epidural again (pethidene makes me freak)and wound up having a ventouse delivery coz Teddie got his big old head stuck! Then a useless student doctor managed to cock up the stitches so badly I lost nearly a litre of blood, and passed out! Teddie was 8lb 15oz. I went home 12 hours later!

So much for second labours being easier

I went in both times hoping to go as long as I could without pain relief, but towards the end, I really needed it. What I'm trying to say is, don't be a martyr. If the pain gets too bad, go with the drugs! I agree, books can only tell you the basics. They can't tell you what it will be like for you.

We found out 8 days after the due date that my wife's pelvic bones were not the right shape. To avoid a potentially nasty accident and a world of pain, we opted for a caesarean.

The rest is represented here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/classic/A526808


btw I'm not squeamish when it comes to stories.

My sister pushed for four hours before they decided that the baby was stuck and did a c-section. They told her it was because her pelvis was too small, but her next baby, who was larger, was born with two pushes. (trying not to be overcome with envy here!)

I completely agree about pain relief. I was going to go as long as I could without, but when it came down to it I could see there was no point. I put off the pain relief with Isobel, but only because I wasn't convinced that gas and air helped. Towards the end I nearly went into hospital after all for an epidural, but at that point suddenly I was too far gone to be moved. Isobel came about an hour later.

They don't give epidurals once you've reached that point anyway, so I'm really glad I didn't go.

ive only done it the once ..imm im hoping it will be easier next time!!..(still want more if i can)
i went to full term (almost to the day)..n mas huge!..my waters broke on the loo at about 330 am..but was no contractions..went to hospital bout 9..n they decided to keep me into be iinduced the next day..started having contractions bout noon..but was 7pm b4 got to 3 centimmetres n they moved me down to the labour ward..
by 12 was still nothing really happening..think i had ome pethidine about then..so the dr came down n started me on a drip to make the contarctions stronger etc..dr was really clumsy..lol
..not long after that my temperature started o go up quite quickly..n by the time i got my epidural at about 2 am was quite delirios!..
my mum tells me i was hilarios..the things was coming out with!...
ne way finally ad my 9lb 5 baby boy at1220 pm !!..after the midwife n r left im stuck for 30mins while they argued over whether to use forcrps or not!!..
had o have an episitomy..n lso tore cos he
had big shoulders!..lol turned ut i had \an infection they hadnt spotted..thts why had the temperature..n also why the placenta was nearly 8 lbs!..no wonder id been so big!..cos of all this josh was taken off for antiboitics in cae hed got the infection too,,he was ok though x
(they didnt give me nething strangely)

if that wasnt nough had more complications..my titches fell out n they decided to send me home without re stitching..
i later had to see a gynaecologist as was a luump there..turned out that id had a type of prolapse..involving my bladder..part of my bowel..n the back wall of my vagina..was quite a mess!
had surgery (after waiting 18 months!)n started physio for my now almost useless pelvic floor..it was never finished though as on a routine bladder scan..they found a lump..which turned out to be an enormous ovarian cyst!!(like a grape fruit)!!
have d it all sorted out now..but wot luck eh!

The only advice I'd give anyone was do what feels right for you but I'd have the pain killers if I ever did it again, which I won't.

I was in the first stage of labour for 19 hours and stayed home for this time, then the second stage started and the ex rushed me to the hospital which was an hour away, I think he was panicing as he hit every bump in the road! Well he needn't have bothered as my son was delivered by forceps just over 33 hours later, the only pain killer I had was a drip which numbed my brain slightly but not the pain, they wouldn't let me have gas and air due to my asthma and I wasn't given the option of having an epidural. I spent the next 2 days wondering if my son would ever feed or cry as he was born blue and was kept on a hot mat to warm his body up. To cap it all I reacted to the type of stich they used and ended up having to have them removed, I spent 10 days in hospital and a further 2 weeks in bed at home before I could move about properly, the only thing I can say now is that my son and I are fit and well and lead a very happy life, so if your pregnant and reading this please don't panic as all births are different, my best friend had her daughter after a 2 hour labour she had no stitches at all and she is so tiny herself we all thought she would have problems, her daughter was 9lb 6oz and my son was only 7lb 2oz.

Just remember, relax and do what you want to do and ask for what you need. Good luck.

Just this weekend, a friend of mine, Kate, who's expecting a baby, asked me what labour was like. I didn't want to scare her silly - I didn't have a great time (I had to be induced. Dom was in the posterior position - huge backache. I was rubbish at dilating, and then when I did, I wasn't quite there, had an anterior lip and was told *not* to push, and I really, really, really wanted to. Then finally, after trying forceps they decided that he had his head resting on his shoulder and so I had an emergency Caesarian.) Anyway, rather than tell Kate all of this, I said that no, it wasn't very nice, but that I kept looking at the clock, thinking, in a couple of hours, or this time tomorrow, or soon, I will have *met my baby*. Which, of course, is the most important thing

I'm really sorry, but having my daughter was actually really easy! They say that the aristocracy have long difficult labours - so I obviously come from true peasant stock!

Following the vilest pregnancy in history (I threw up for nine solid months, and when I wasn't being sick, I wanted to be), my waters broke (two weeks early) at about 4.30 in the morning - not just a trickle either, but a raging torrent. We called the hospital to ask for advice and were told to come in. We arrived there at about 5.00 am and they monitored her heartbeat and took a swab to check no infection. They sent me home again at 6.30am saying they would induce me the next morning if necessary. By 9.30 contractions had started, and by 12.00 I was back at the maternity unit, with contractions three minutes apart and 3cms dilated. Due to a defect in my spine, the three (!) attempts at an epidural by two different consultants were unsuccessful. They were attempting the third with me lying on my side, when I pointed out that I was pushing and was told not to be silly as I could only be about 7-8cm dilated and had hours to go. I repeated myself and they had a look and found that I was right (surprise, surprise!). Charlotte was born about 15 mins later at about 5.30 pm.

I followed my mothers pregnancy and birth to the letter (even sprogging early) - I just hope that Charlotte has the same births (but not pregnancy) if she ever decides to have kids!