Interview with God - Book World (UG)

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Official UnderGuide Entry

Q. People have written a lot of things about you, but I was wondering if you ever thought of publishing something of your own.

A. Well, actually, I already have. Haven't you ever read the Ten Commandments?

Q. Yes, but it was very short.

A. In reality, what you have read was only the index. There were many more chapters to the book, but Moses could only manage to carry away the first two pages.

Q. Have you ever thought of writing a second book?

A. After that little experience, I decided to use ghost writers instead. Logistically, it's a lot easier dictating to someone than expecting them to ship tons of stone tablets around.

Q. But doesn’t that cause a problem with credibility? I mean, who is going to believe someone who says that they have talked with God?

A. Yes, that does tend to be a problem, but up to now I think that I have managed to get my message across.

Q. Instead of writing on stone, have you thought of using modern technology?

A. For really important works which have to pass the test of time, what you call "durable media" was superseded by stone thousands of years ago. The mistake that mankind made was to invent something different to write on, instead of inventing something easier to write on stone with. Had you all followed my advice then today mountain climbing would be an intellectual experience.

Q. Is there any particular mountain that you can recommend?

A. Well, there is, but you'll have to get there and climb it for yourself. I've given up moving mountains - I'm not a librarian, you know.

Q. Why haven't you written any music?

A. Umm, it's strange, people seem to be hanging out for my words, but I have never felt that there was any real big demand for my music.

Q. So there is no chance of seeing you singing and dancing on Top of the Pops then?

A. Never say never, as they say - God moves in mysterious ways.

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