h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[The twins, and Affy I hope, board a Star Trek: Voyager runabout and prepare to take off for the constellation Cygnus, and the black hole there: Cygnus X-1]

*Affy runs an internal diagnostics check*

All systems seem normal.

[Ketsar] }Okay. Hang on a minute, we're going to get The Big C into this.{

Ooh! Voyager runabout. *worships*

[Ketsar] }Looks like the Big C himself isn't coming.{

[Poxlu hangs furry dice in front of the forward viewscreen]

[Poxlu] {Pre-flight checks okay?}

[Ketsar] }Yup. Let's see what this baby can do (with all CLI's modifications)!{

Mind if I take the CONN? I'm Chief CONN officer aboard the USS Rushmore, I'm good at piloting these things.... *inviting smile*

[Ketsar] }Well ... okay.{

[Poxlu] {Are we going or what??}

[Ketsar] }At the moment, we're what. Let's wait till Affy's next post.{

*sits down at a console and starts fiddling with controls*

[The ship takes off.]

[Narrator] A moment goes by.

[They are now in space. The ship moves into a position where the constellation Cygnus is visible.]

[Ketsar] }Here we go.{

[Poxlu] {Now let's see what these CLI modifications can do!}

[On the viewscreen, the stars get brighter. Some of them seem to expand. They then swirl around the ship, and red and blue streaks funnel around the ship. It then clears, revealing a completely different starfield. This entire sequence was taken from "Starship Titanic."]

[Ketsar] }Where's the black hole?{

[Poxlu] {Er, here.}

[She presses a button marked "Cruise around a bit". The ship cruises around a bit. In the process, it turns completely around, revealling a blue giant star orbiting a black hole that is sucking matter off the star and into it.]

[Both] {}Cool!}{

[Ketsar flies over to Njan, who is playing "Space Invader"]

[Ketsar] }Hard, huh?{

Yeah... I can't seem to get this last one: he's going too fast.

*stops, and looks out of the viewscreen*

Wow...

[Poxlu] {Looks great!}

[Ketsar] }We'll wait till someone else posts before we do something, howabout.{

Indeed we will...

[Nothing happens for two seconds.]

[At the end of the two seconds, nothing continues to happen.]

[Nothing keeps happening.]

Sorry about the delay. Computer problems IRL.


*Affy checks some readouts on the black hole*

Wow. That's a big one. According to the statistics, this is one of the largest known black holes in our little corner of the Galaxy. I'll set up the mining equipment. I've checked all of the legalities, and no one has a claim on this black hole yet. And if a CLI ship is the first one to salvage some of the matter from it, the black hole would technically belong to the lab.

*Pushes a few buttons on his watch, and several sounds are heard. The sounds that are being heard are actually different parts of the black hole mining equipment unfolding and activating outside the ship. Affy turns to the other people on board*

Okay, we're in Cygnus. Anything in particular we should be doing that I'm not remembering? They have great asteroid racing here if memory serves.

[Ketsar] }One thing to do: we go TO the Black Hole!{

[Poxlu] {Are you sure you know how much stress this ship can take with regards to the intense gravitational fields in the event horizon of such a large black hole as this?}

[Ketsar] }No clue. You?{

[Poxlu] {Haven't the foggiest. Let's go.}

[They turn the ship on a heading that will take them straight them into the black hole]

[Ketsar] }Ready?{

[Poxlu] {As ready as I'll ever be!}

[The ship dives forward into the black hole. They go inside and discover an inner event horizon and that the singularity is ring-shaped. They go through and come out the other side, exceeding the speed of light.]

[Narrator] Just to mention it now, the twins find themselves in an alternate reality in which Mewtwo has taken over Earth, the Galactic Empire in Star Wars rules our galaxy, and a year ago the kingdom of Termina on the planet Hylia was saved by a boy named Link from our own dimension.

[Narrator] ...and another charming feature of this alternate dimension is that everyone (except those in Termina) who lives here who has a good counterpart in our dimension is evil, and vice versa.