h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Just past Farnborough on the M3 motor way the majestic towers of Basingstoke's thriving business community spring up into view and that familiar sense of bitterness creeps into your mind.
- You can't see them until you pass Hook.

It's not so much that you're first view of Basingstoke features a concrete monstrosity that gets you down, more the sudden realisation that you are returning to the world of the dull!.
- More on that later.

It's not that Basingstoke isn't well equipped, on the contrary it is very well equipped with bowling alleys, ice rinks, a poor football team,
- There's plenty of worse ones.

cinemas. motor museums,
- There aren't any motor museums.

very bad night-clubs, even worse shops, sports centres, golf clubs, lawn bowling clubs, bad local radio, old peoples homes,
- The town has a lower than average percentage of older people

and a very large lunatic asylum!...hmmmmmm
- Park Prewett, I guess you are talking about. It has now been demolished except for the main building that has been converted into flats and the listed Water Tower. Prior to that it was empty.

The real problem with Basingstoke is that most of it's amenities are designed to pamper to the needs of complete imbeciles, the Ben Sherman wearing majority have created their utopia.
- The REAL problem is that it doesn't have much history or interesting things for a town of its size, and that many estates and parts of the town suffer from decline or being ugly.

A town of weak larger, "sorry mate no trainers" Aggressive 15 yr. olds " did you call my pint a poof?", bad fashion statements "70% off Madhouse sales" and intrusive sculpture "the 14 ft penis".
- The 'Wote Street Willy' isn't that big. It wasn't meant to depict a penis, but some dirty-minded locals quickly pointed it out soon after its erection.

There is one area of Basingstoke that has culture and charm .....No really there is! The village of Basing
- OLD Basing (which suits it quite well)

lies about 1 mile to the East and is home to about 6000 and is home of the man who put the Toke in Basingstoke .The fact that his village completes the other half of the towns name is pure coincidence ....I think.
- The man was called Basa but he has been dead for ages. And the population of Old Basing is 7,000.

To sum up, Basingstoke is a poor excuse for a bad town in the V neck jumper wearing, Volvo driving, Tory voting , muppet haven that is Hampshire.
- Have you ever been to Winchester or Fareham? Hampshire is a lot better than you think. The counties of Hertfordshire, Surrey and much of Essex are the ones that belong to the London Commuter Belt, and you get many dull towns there (but many good ones as well).

But it could be worse ..... probably!
- True. There are far more worse places than Basingstoke which have nothing interesting about them at all. I don't understand why this town gets picked on.