h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Frantically looking round for assistance*

"I am not that sort of girl" I pout (Applying blusher to disguise super hero designer stubble)

"Now Clear Off!"

*Builder scratches head and tries again*

"Now don't be like that darlin', you know you want it" (Whilst simultaneously doing disgusting groin thrusting motions)

*Looks around for spare so he can melt into the shadows*

"Look - one drink, allright, but I have to be back home by 10 as I am a good ...errr......girl"

"Phwooar" says the builder

"Help Help!" says the Captain

*suddenly, the builder drops to the floor, unconscious. behind him stands Lady Pennywhistle, holding a large branch and smiling sweetly*

I got some sandals for you, if you want to get rid of these heels. Can't stand high heels myself, thaI'm quite impressed to see you're still standing.

*Shapeshifts into a and s at the builder. Snatches the from his hand biting his fingers at the same time. Then s into lil's house*

Why thank you ma'am for helping a lady..no boy...ummm....in distress HELP! What am I now? Does my bum look big in this?

Could you ever fancy an Intergalactic Super Hero Villain in drag Lady Pennywhistle? AARRGGHHH - I 'm beginning to like it!

Give me my normal clothes back - QUICK!

I'm afraid I don't know where they are... didn't Ena take them away?

Let's go see if lil has something for you, shall we?

So are you interested in buying he house then?

*Takes Lady Penny Whistle by the hand and minces (The only way in heels if you are a bloke) over to Lils*

Lil? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh Lil?? Can I have my Hero Suit back please?

Nope, sorry...

Sorry Captain, that was an answer to GB...

It's these simposts following me again. *single tear etc*

*lil opens the door and finds the Captain, Yael and Gb on her doorstep*


Captain, your uniform is just being pressed. Please come in and wait it won't take much longer.

Yael, do you wish to bring your friend in too?

*she flutters her eyelids at Gb, but will he take notice*

*oblivious*

*passes cup of around and has added a something to Gb's cup*


Please make yourselves comfortable...I will just check on your uniform Captain.

*Builds a nest and lays down in it.*

Why the hell did I do that?

I've got to stop going to the Pythonist forums.

Uurg! This has no in it!

*Pours tea on the ground.*

*lil watches, and plans for the future*

*whispers to GB* I think you've got a stalker...

Yeah, that's probably Fish's Freak. She used to stalk me back when we first met.

Aw, isn't that sweet...

*lil shapeshifts and changes clothes. Now dressed entirely in black leather she leaves her house and enters the forest*

No! It freaked me out! One minute I'm applying to become a god, the next minute I'm being stalked!

*wonders where lil has gone... and why*