h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*notices he's sweating and wonders why, the night is quite cold now the sun has set*

*is a little hurt and confused by his macho tone of voice but tries not to show it*

Are you sure everything is alright? I wouldn't ask unless I was worried

I am a bit confused. I have feelings that I can't put into words and when you are around I find my heart plays an unusual tune within my chest. Does this make any sense to you?
*Feels as macho as Charles Hawtrey*

*feels her heart leap with hope...does he...feel the same way? She throws caution to the winds and leans into him, gives him a quick kiss on the cheek and retreats*

Well...er...that's how I feel

*Struggling with his inner desires he decides to be fair and up front about his secret.*
Clearly we have strong feelings abou teach other but I cannot lead you into false hopes. We can be friends and no more. There is something about my past which means that I may never have a significant relationship with a woman. I don't want to hurt you. That's the last thing I would want but it would be unfair for me to let you think that I was available - I will never be free.

*blushes deep red and feels stupid*

May I know what it is about your past?

*She has asked the question he dreaded anyone asking.*
I... I was... *Nerves completely overwhelm him and he breaks down crying*
I can't talk about it!

*puts her arm around his shoulders and holds him close*

It will help to talk about it, please...I care

*hugs him tighter*

Please....*close to tears herself* talk to me

*pulls himself together.*
When I was a young man and finding my way in the world I came across a young woman who was, in my mind absolutely perfect in every way. She was beautiful, vivacious, talented and kind. I watched her from afar and the more I saw of her the more I wanted to be close to her. I was just a poor boy who made nothing from my secretive hero activities and was making my living washing dishes and carrying packages in a hotel. She, on the other hand, was staying in hotels and mixing with rich and powerful people who were way above me socially.
*Eyes fill with tears*

*watches curoisly from a sand dune*

I used to spend some of every day trying just to see her. I worked extra hours in the hotel getting jobs clearing tables in the restaurant, collecting glasses from the bar, carrying heavy bags to rooms in the hope that I might bump into her.

Sometimes I would see her as her escort for the evening would swirl her away into his sports car or the tanned, beautiful crowd she spent her time with laughed and chattered about the skiing or horses as they walked through the lobby.

Then one day she spotted me looking at her...
*Tears fill vesties eyes and he has to stop to regain his composure*

*places her hand on his*

What happened?

She smiled at me. It was a smile I have never experienced before or since. Her smile let me knokw that she knew I was there and that she had a 'special' feeling for me. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't join her circle of friends, they were way above me socially and I had never done the things they had done and I didn't have the money to llive their lifestyle. But her smile had cut through all of that. It had gone straight to my heart. I knew I was in love and that she had some feeling for me.

My confusion and feeling of helplessness was utter. The pain of it all was unique. I had never had such strong feelings before. There was only one person in the world I could think of to turn to. My mother. She had helped me in the past. She had created my Vest and had dressed me in such a garment from when I was a little child so that I could grow with confidence in the powers it held.

So I went to see mother.

But if she loved you then why aren't you happy? What did your mother say?

In a way my problem was my mother. she told me a very sad story but to me it was appaling that she had kept a secr4et from me for so long. It seems that my mother, whom I knew had come from Eastern Europe originally, had been pregnant before whe was married and in her town this was a serious crime. the local doctor, a very nice man whom my mother trusted said that he could help and arranged for my mother to go to a couple in the city who would look after her. When she gave birth it was to twins and she allowed the couple to keep one while they set her up in England with a new life and enough money and support to set up her own business.

When I told her about the girl she asked me her name. When I told her she asked me a few more questions and then she sat down and cried. Desperate to know what was wrong I forced her to tell me the whole story. The girl of my dreams had been the daughter of a wealthy diplomat who had travelled from country to country and who was based in my mother's country about the time I was born.

The girl I had seen mixing in high society and who seemed to fill a hole in my life was my twin. I had fallen in love with my own sister.

Ever since then I have vowed never to develop such feelings and to concentrate on my life as a superhero. So you see I cannot allow myself to have deep feelings for you Ena but I would like to think that we can always be special friends.

*sits in silence for a while processing what he has said*

But I don't see why you can't fall in love, surely that is cowardice of your own feelings. You made a mistake once, a mistake that will live with you for a long time, maybe forever, but it doesn't mean you can't feel love.

I'm not asking you to love me; or telling you to forget about what happened. I'm just saying that to deny yourself love is...well...insane

*she wraps her arms around her knees protectively and falls silent wondering if she's said too much*

*Calm now after sharing his most intimate secret with her he feels able to continue*
Perhaps I am a coward. My hero work means that I have to spend a lot of time being brave in a way I don't really have to think about. Confronting my own fear of love is something I don't choose to do. Having no attachments in my line of work makes life a lot easier.

I used to be afraid of feelings, of myself...I still am in a way but I know that if I'm ever going to be happy then I'll feel all that I can, even if it means unbearable pain or overwhelming anger.

I care for you an awful lot....but what you do is your choice

*she rises and kisses him softly, she then withdraws again*

*Senses a sadness in the air and knows that this sadness will occur again if he continues with his chosen way. Drifts a little way down the beach and starts to dig in the sand. Before he knows it he is working furiously making a large castle.*

*walks slowly up to him and observes him building the castle*

*her voice is gentle and friendly*

What are you thinking?