Adverts
Created | Updated Mar 4, 2004
I'm getting really fed up with adverts. Actually there's only two kinds of adverts that I am annoyed with.
I like funny adverts, and I appreciate the need for shocking adverts such as the anti-smoking and anti-drink driving ones that the government produces.
What irks me is all those adverts that make a mockery of real life. The events in these adverts would never happen in real life. One particulary annoying advert is for a brand of yoghurt that the woman seems to like more than her boyfriend. He is shown constantly getting ready for sex (at her initiation) only to find himself locked out of a hotel room or locked in an airline toilet while she sits there eating her yoghurt.
We can all imagine what happens after the scene ends. The boyfriend is finally re-united with his girl and finds her with an empty yoghurt pot and a spoon1.
'Thating yoghurt!!! AGAIN?!? Right, that is it. You can bloody well enjoy this holiday on your own. I'm off to the pub! AND I'M NOT COMING BACK!'
And who would blame him?
Other adverts where the interfering old father cuts off the lovely topiary from the neighbour's privy hedge. In real life he would have received a punch in the face. And rightly so2.
Science
The other adverts that annoy me are the ones that try to baffle the viewer with science. Hair products are a notorious x of this. Can anyone tell me exactly what a micro-mineral is? What the difference between a vitimin and a pro-vitimin is? The advert makers are trying to baffle us into thinking that their product is superior to all others because they have spent more money on the science behind it.
If it's not science then it's bad maths. Remember that chewing gum ad with the graph showing the 'danger' zone after eating. The graph failed to show properly that a person needs to chew gum for 30+ minutes to return to the 'safe' zone. A clever trick of colouring the graph red as it went below the danger line and blue as it started back, but most of the blue was still under the line.
Gadget Crazy
We are also bombarded with adverts for the latest gadget, usually mobile phones, PCs or electrical appliances. These adverts are designed to make us want these products, but they are merely fashion accessories. We don't need the latest phone, unless it does something remarkably different than the one we have and is much more useful.
This has lead to a throwaway society, where we are constantly throwing away perfectly good possessions and replacing them with newer ones.
There is a very famous, and rather humourous science fiction short story about the 'UN' of alien worlds deciding that Earth is finally ready to be contacted and welcomed into the organisation. The expedition go off and come back rather sooner than expected, having come to the conclusion that the entire population is insane, due to the throwaway society.
Why do I need the latest phone, or the fastest computer? The latest computer is almost four times faster than the requirements on the latest computer game. Why?
The adverts are actually making us shun each other. Can you remember the last time a friend pulled out his/her mobile and you saw it was really old? I'll bet they made some comment about 'getting an upgrade soon' because they were embarrassed by their old model phone.
We shouldn't have to feel this way. Adverts are evil. Its no wonder that Americans are developing the A-Chip. The V-Chip is a device in TVs that block violent programs, the A-Chip mutes the TV during the adverts.
Its causing a big problem. If you watch a TV station that uses advert breaks to fund itself, by leaving the room to make a cup of tea during the break (or flip over for a monent), you are effectively stealing from the company. So to get around this problem, the TV station makes its advert breaks longer. It's a never ending struggle. Anyone who has seen American TV will be aware of this. I watched an episode of Star Trek: Voyager. There was a break after the first 10 minutes, then another every 20 minutes, and finally a break between the final scene and the credits!
However, at the end of the day, since I can remember the adverts and their associated products long after seeing them, haven't the advertising agencies done their job exactly as expected?
