h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The 'West Memphis Three' - A2319068
Author: Redstar2112 - U552128

I noticed there was no entry on this rather notorious legal case in the guide, so I'm submitting one. Feedback appreciated!

Awful thing, this Not the entry though. That was very good indeed. Just a couple of things-

“after the trail” --> “after the trial”

And the title could simply be The West Memphis Three. No need for the quotes. Unless you want them

yeesh that's horrible.
good entry.

I've been following this case for a while Redstar I'll check it out in just a minute.

Justice must be one of the most abused words in the Englsh Language.

Sad entry Red - reads like a B movie script.

You don't say whether the guy who was sentenced to death had his sentence carried out - surely this has a big impact on the story?

Damien remains behind bars pending appeals. I thought this was made clear in the following paragraph, but perhaps not clear enough.

Yikes - this sounds dreadful! I think this is a good entry and ought to go in - it can be updated if (or hopefully when) the case is re-opened. I think you've done a really good job being neutral here - it's not a case that's easy to be neutral about from what you've said.

It's very worrying how often fabricated confessions seem to appear in these kinds of cases. Similar things have happened in the UK with people with learning difficulties, but hopefully not for a while...

Can I suggest a few changes / point out a few typos:

The aftermath para 2
"He like to wear black clothing" > "He liked to wear black clothing"

Could you explain for a UK audience what Miranda rights are? I'm guessing that this is something to do with having a responsible adult present during interviews.

The investigation penultimate paragraph:
"Jesse, who is borderline retarded".
Because guide entries have to be written in British English, it's probably worth changing "borderline retarded" to something like "moderate learning difficulties". "Retarded" - to the British reader - is not a very PC expression, and isn't one that the mainstream media would use any more. I know this is different elsewhere (e.g. in Australia), so I'm not accusing you of being un-PC but perhaps an alternative formulation would be better.

The investigation penultimate paragraph
"without knowing his rights or the benefit of council"
Should that be counsel?

The trial of Jesse Misskelly para 2 and throughout
"defense" -> "defence" (British English)

"The trial of Jason and Damien"
Probably better to use surnames, as this implies a bit more detachment / neutrality.

Hope this helps...

Otto

As far as I can tell this is very close to being recommendable, it just needs Redstar to take care of those points raised by Otto.


Scout

As Gosho says

Plus in the sentence 'a bright, though introverted teenager whom, in a larger suburban or metropolitan area, would never have been noticed for a second.' it should be 'who' instead of 'whom'.
signifigantly-> significantly
miscarraiges -> miscarriage
rescource -> resource (2x)
recieve -> receive

As to the Miranda warnings, you can link to A593688 .



Bossel

Thanks so much for the comments, all

All suggestions/corrections have been made, and a footnote & link explaining Miranda rights was added. let me know if there's anything else!

In a nutshell: no



Bossel

An excellent entry and one that should be picked soon.



sprout

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've therefore moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!

Well done Very glad to see this going into the EG.