h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's nice to meet you again LB, you have some interesting opinions.

LB wrote: "I decided to stay a virgin forever because I personally find the sex act disgusting and because I think that physical pleasure is bad for the mind."

Let's concentrate on the latter part. Why would pleasure be bad for the mind? A lack of pleasure (not talking constant pleasure here) can lead to mental disorders such as depression. Pleasure, including a healthy sex life is vital for normal human function.

Did this form out of your repulsion towards sex, or did it form because of it?

Ste

<>

I would say that it is not the amount of pleasure, but the source that is bad. There is a difference between pleasure that comes from mental or emotional fullfillment (figuring something out, talking with a friend, succeseding at something that takes work or skill, ect.) and purely physical pleasure (tasty food, the sex act itself). The first type of pleasure is good because it motivates one to work towards a goal, the second is emptier and distracts people from real goals. Pleasure from emotional intamacy would come under the first catagory, though I don't personally see it to be pleasureable.

<>

Actually, I think they formed together and reinforced each other. Note that my ideas on pleasure apply to things other than sex.

But even as a kid, when I first learned about sex, I never understood how it could be anything but gross.

"I would say that it is not the amount of pleasure, but the source that is bad. There is a difference between pleasure that comes from mental or emotional fullfillment ... and purely physical pleasure."

I would argue that what you consider to be bad is purely arbitrary, and the dichotomy that you have made with respect to pleasure is false. They can be and usually are one in the same thing. They result in the same reactions, both are mental fulfilment and very often physical pleasure is emotionally fulfilling. Why split them up?

"Pleasure from emotional intamacy would come under the first catagory, though I don't personally see it to be pleasureable."

Making close connections with other people is one of the most fulfilling pleasures there is. For me, without the emotional intimacy of friends and my wife, life would literally be not worth living. I really think this is where we differ, and everything else comes down to this root cause.

Tentatively, it seems to be as if you have categorised pleasure, and talk about goals, as a way to fit the world around your worldview (I don't know your past, so I won't speculate there).

I have to admit, I don't understand your stance on sex. When asked "how would you know, though", you could not respond. How do you know? When you're ready for it, sex can be the most beautiful thing. At first it'll be not very nice, it often isn't for girls. If I were you I'd avoid any talk of never having sex, but also take a long time to know when you're ready. Keep an open mind. Sorry if I'm starting to sound preachy.

"Note that my ideas on pleasure apply to things other than sex."

Yes, I realise that . So we should include all other pleasure in the discussion.

Why do people need goals, and what are good and bad goals. Again, I find this to be arbitrary...



Ste

I have to go get ready for bed now. I'll check back later, perhaps tommorrow, perhaps Wednesday to see if anything new comes up. I awaiit your responce with some amount of interest but probably won't see it for a day or two.

---Lemon

Simpost!

G'night

Ste

<>

I think there's a difference, but I suppoe I could be crazy. I can't offer any objective evidence of my point.




<>

I think you're right--without pleasure from emotional intemay, sex is just a collection of animal reflexes that probably wouldn't be so important to most people.




<>

It seems that it would be empty without emtional intemay, and as I seem incapable of forming any strong emotional bond with others, it might be pointless. As for being preachy--I apparently sound that way, too.



<>

<>

Most things in life and philosophy are. Siddhartha said something along the lines of "I do not teach the only true path, there are many paths that lead to enlitenment." I don't know the exact words, but I think he was right.

Out of interest, have you ever considered that you might be gay?

Ste

<>

I've considered it, but I doubt it. I am sexually attracted to boys but not to other girls. I try to repress it, but I can't deny that the attraction exists.

Fair enough.

Have you ever opened up to someone else in the past, i.e., were intimate with them (moving past the purely physical aspects of intimacy)?



Ste

Not really, no.

If you tell people too much about yourself, you give them too much power. It is safer to limit what you tell them and to avoid things that they might find offensive.

So it is less about intimacy than a lack of trust of others? Does this even extend to your mother and father? I don't think the 'power' argument is true, you can only give people power by letting them have power over you. It's a perception thing. Not an information thing.

The funny thing is though, by talking about this stuff with us here on
h2g2, you are being quite intimate. I'm sure this hasn't escaped your notice.

Ste

<>

It is less a matter of trust with my parents than of not wanting to hurt their feelings. I don't want to express opinions that they might disagree with or dislike in front of them.

You may have a point, but I just don't like the idea of anyone really knowing exactly who I am.



<>

There is a basic difference here--you don't know me. If I tell someone something in person, they know who I am and can tell other people.

To you and the others here on h2g2, I am a pseudonym, a set of ideas, a vauge desription, and a disposable email address that funnels emails to my actual inbox.

If necesary, I can leave and noone will be able to track me down or know who I am. I can talk about intament things because I can escape easily.

"It is less a matter of trust with my parents than of not wanting to hurt their feelings. I don't want to express opinions that they might disagree with or dislike in front of them."

There is nothing wrong with having an opinion that someone disagrees with. Why would anyone (not necessarily your parents) be offended because of this? And even if anyone is offended who gives a cr*p?


"I just don't like the idea of anyone really knowing exactly who I am."
Why? Is it like having your own secret that only you know? You realise noone will ever know inside your head, even if you get married and live with someone for 50 years there will still be some things, some experiences, some thoughts that your significant other still won't know.

So, noone will *exactly* know who you are. Are you scared of people even slightly knowing who you are?


"There is a basic difference here--you don't know me. If I tell someone something in person, they know who I am and can tell other people."

The only difference is safety. Which is very telling I think.


Ste

<>

My parents might not be happy if I disagreed with them. And I've discovered that people get offended very easily--I think I've already managed to accidently offend several people here on H2G2 by expressing opinions.



<>

I'd rather people not know too much about me. They can know about one detail if they don't know about others.



<>

Of what? That I am paranoid (you may be right about that)?

I should've remembered Jordan.
I knew I'd seen someone other than Daneel and yourself express opinions on this line.
Would you consider music a physical pleasure to be avoided? After all like food it involves phyical stimulation of one of the senses which results in a emotional reaction. I wouldn't want to imagine a world without music.

"Would you consider music a physical pleasure to be avoided?" Yes if it's Heavy Metal!!! But that's the only one I would avoid.

Alji

Heavy Metal, dance, opera, most C&W and pop in my case

<>

Interesting I hadn't considered that. I wouldn't like a world without music. Also, being a violinist who thought music we evil would be a bit hypocritical of me, wouldn't it?