h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Weevil holidays should include the bearing of gifts.

A suggestion for an actual holiday: St. Weevil's Day

That has a nice ring to it. We need some more information about this special day:

- On what calendar day does it occur?
- What types of gifts should be appropriate?
- Other than the bearing of gifts, how should the day be celebrated?

Perhaps we should figure out what day in the year 'pon which it takes place, and then decide on gifts appropriate to the climate during that time.

I think it should take place in the summer. How about August 12?

August 12th? Isn't that the day on which the Highland Tweed Weevils begin making friends with ground nesting birds of the grouse family? I think that this would be a good day for a holiday and that a heartwarming hipflask of marzipan gin would make a fine gift.

A good start. Is tha marzipan gin actually meant to be consumed by humans, or is it more like the giving of, say, a fruit cake? Perhaps the marzipan gin is meant more for the recipient's weevil, or weevils, than for the actual recipient.

Eventually, I'll take our decisions and write something up about it for the church page.

Kensington suggests that the marzipan gin should be meant for one's weevils (but then, he would suggest that, wouldn't he? )

I see no reason why a weevil should not share its marzipan gin with its human. Say hello to Kensington for me.

August 12 is a fine day to celebrate St. Weevil's Day. Of course there must be Marzipan Gin and if you are in the Northern Hemisphere like myself, you should dress is a swimming suit of some kind, but only if you damn well feel like it.

Dr. D

How about it being a day traditionally spent at the beach? A celebratory beach party, as it were, with marzipan gin, weevils, and everything? Or does this not fit in with the 'grouse' background?

I would hate the CotTW to be accused of being Grousist. Why can't the Grouse attend the beach party? Granted that they may prefer that distilled malt beverage on bottles of which they feature so prominently, but then Marzipan gin is something you only indulge in if you really bleedin' want to, aint it?

Well then, perhaps there could be some aspect of the celebration that attracts grouse. I'm starting to like the demented direction this is going.

OK, what insanity is happening in my absence?

An August 12th beach party with planty of marzipan gin, grouse (and whisky), swimwear optional.

Sounds like a plan to me

Can I suggest marmite sandwiches and winegums to be added to the 'traditional' food associated with St. Weevils Day?

Marmite? By the weevil's slavering fangs, Frizz, isn't that stuff supposed to be revolting? Oh well, who cares. Marmite sandwiches, wine gums, marzy gin, optional swimwear, and a conspicuous flock of grouse collecting nearby.

Sounds good, but it needs something special. Something to just push it a little more into the surreal. Can't quite put my finger on what it might be.

FIREWORKS! BONFIRE!

YEAH! - I love fireworks. We have to have fireworks.

Och, that's a grand wee idea. Highland Tweed weevils love marmite sandwhiches almost as much as digestive biscuits soaked in corn syrup.
Do ye no think that the fireworks would frighten the grouse?
There should be something to celebrate the fact that weevils are friendly wee beasties. Perhaps a hedgehog cuddling ceremony. After all, I don't suppose that hedgehogs get that many cuddles.

Yes! We must have a hedgehog cuddling ceremony!

Alright then, a hedgehog cuddling ceremony. I think the weevils should be involved in that somehow. Perhaps, in the climactic final moments of the day's celebration, the many weevils in attendance go off into the scrub and convince several hedgehogs to come over and participate in the cuddling competition. Think of it. Scores of happy, dancing, drunken weevils emerging from the brush leading three-score frolicking hedgehogs into the swelling mass of party-goers. Cuddling commences as fireworks explode overhead. Afterwards, the hedgehogs leave, the weevils pass out, and the party-goers dance around a huge bonfire until the police arrive to settle everything down.

We may just have something here.

Weelah! Don't get me so excited!

Right, then. Is that it? Shall I write that up at some point in the near future?

Just don't forget the marmite sandwiches!

Sounds perfect to me. I can't wait for St.Weevils day.