h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*returns from second trip in and out, having put away te ground beef and brought in a pallet of hay*
This pit has a strange effect on my friends.
*pushes egg into middle, deepest part of pit and packs it with hay*
Babel, aim those lights right down on it, they'll keep it warm as well as help us to observe.

*Shouts up to Phil*
Lil says 'Aim those lights right down on it, they'll keep it warm as well as help us to observe.'

Actually, I'm not really much of a threat in this respect. [He draws the sword, which is missing its blade from three inches from the hilt.]

But I carry a big stick!! [whirls around and is suddenly holding a large branch]

Whatever it is, I hope Mike likes it, because it will probably imprint on him. Imagine Mike A being followed around by a baby, um, dragon. I hope it's a dragon! I don't know what he would do with a heavy metal ostrich.

Points two spots down on the egg and goes off to wait to see what happens next.

*comes back in first thing to see whether the egg has hatched or Mike A has opened it*
*the egg is rocking and throbbing and something inside is complaining*

Methinks it is hatching...unless it wants to just sit around and wobble forever.

Hmmm, it's...well god (Quorthon) knows what it is cos it's still cracking. Well, it's a start.

Get your sticks (and Styx) ready lads...

*has minced beef waiting, in a cooler this time*
Just tell me, Mike, if you think it needs feeding with meat!

*The egg explodes*

Yikes!

*The smoke billows around*

Ow! *piece of shell hits Lil on the left temple*
*begins to cough from smoke*

Oh, Babel is from my rival tribe, the Gallalatessassassary. Fiend. You are in league with the wicked Japanese samurai that plague my land, are you? Begone, mortal.

Now the magic egg is broken, I shall reveal what it bears.

*Clears smoke*

The egg has borne the mighty QUORTHON to your mortal realm. He shall not speak to you, but the smoke shall carry his thoughts and actions to me, and I shall relay them to you.

First, for Mike. Quorthon says he has scrawled a picture of Styx, so now you are ready to write his profile for the pit and get the bloody rat off his case.

*is impressed*
*decides she can make shepherds pie after all*

Looks like we won't be needing the meat then

So, we need to get the Styx picture to somebody with webspace...
*looked innocent*
Hey Lil!

Yes luv, attach it to me.
*picks up cooler* I guess I'm glad it was a prophecy and not a dragon; who knows what Mindspring would have thought?

Oh, and Greetings, Locotr! Cool performance.

Lucky Mindspring is still tucked up at the Altelier. I laughed when she was jumping up and around back there

What the f**k? I only told Locotr 'Lets go for a pint', in Gaelic!
And what Japanese f*****g samurai? I ain't going anywhere mate!
So you can stick your godly threats up your fat so called gods back side. You don't scare me!

Oh my! *is too drugged up with the cold to be more vigorous*
I think I'll get out of this dank cave air and tuck up with Mindspring, some tea and a good book, nothing too profound.

Well, looks like Locotr is as stupid as he looks.

If you read my guide entry about him, then you'll know he spends a lot of time fighting samurai. I think he's been drinking too much voddy

I'da thought as much.

Your spelling of Atelier is improving, Mike A. Thank you for trying, anyway!