h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Behind the Main Hall lies a short passageway with a chair in it, and beyond that, a much smaller room; dinner for two is apparently the primary concern here. Sunlight streams through two large windows on the north side; there are double doors on another wall. Piano music is in the background, somewhat badly played.

*Strides into the room.*

Hmmm...

*Walks over to one of the windows and opens it. He closes his eyes and mumbles something under his breath. A few moments later a large claymor that is a dark shade of green comes sailing in and he catches it one handed.*

Now where's that bad music coming from!

[The music stops; it was being played by Wolfie's big brother, Doberman, who wears a black leather jacket.]

[Doberman] Door!

[He comes out from behind the piano and starts charging at Skullock.]

[Doberman] I was gettin' bored waitin' for one of you to show up!

*Waits for Doberman to draw close. Once he is almost upon him, skullock side steps his enemy and slices at him with his sword.*

[Doberman] Arrghh! That hurt! And jackets like this cost money!

[He wheels around and charges at Skullock again]

Look, can't we just settle this over tea? No? Ok then.

*Heaves his sword at Doberman in a scene very similar to that of the Black knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

[Doberman] GWARRGHH!! [gets the sword in the face] AUGH, NOT TEH FACE!! ANYTHING BUT TEH FACE (except the heart)!

[He rips the sword out of his face and tosses it aside. His wounds vanish]

[Doberman] Sorry, but I can't JUST let you go by! I have to kill you, first!

That's ok, I'm already dead! Undead rather, but all the same...

*Gets a little miffed about the whole vanishing wound thing.*

This could be harded than i thought.

*Takes a defensive stance.*

[The old man from the original Legend of Zelda appears in a puff of smoke]

[Old Man] SMASH CHAIR TO RAISE STAKES

[Doberman] ... What!?

Erm...Right.

*Spys the chair and makes a mad dash for it.*

*Picks it up and smashes it over Dobermans thick skull.*

[Doberman] Ow! You little ... [shoves Skullock away, but not so hard that he loses his grip on the remains of the chair]

Hrmpf!

*Recovers and dodges blows until he spots his window of attack.*

*Sees his chance, darts in and stabbes the splintered remains of the chair into Dobermans chest.*

[Doberman] Bugger!! [dies]

[Dylan suddenly enters]

[Dylan] Um ... Okay, sorry about this, but the timing of the story is a little bit disjointed, so ... Well, lemme put it this way: the story requires that you be captured, and I'm guessing that it'll take ... well ... a /bit/ before you get there, and given your current rate of posting ... [tries to find out where he was going with this] Um ... anyway ... let's just say that Cain and Abel use me to distract you.

[Cain and Abel, the two werewolf programs we meet in Matrix Reloaded (Persephone shoots one of them), have by now snuck up behind Skullock. They knock him out and drag him off to F1709137?thread=360496]

*walks into the dining room muttering to find signs of a struggle, no sign of Skullock and a note on the floor which reads "victim" *

Oh Oh ! Sadly prophetic and more than a little ironic.

*arms a few weapons and follows the trail*

*NYC, still with his two sidearms of grossly opposing size and calibre, comes and follows after Red's trail*

*as does the Dewey Demon, glasses lowered and bearing a heavy date stamp*