h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I could feed the whole of the 3rd world what i waste.
But the birds have a good feast

Verywell, you're all on the list. Read it yourself to find out what you are.

Thanks Godben about the treaty, did Astrotomato actually sign it in the end? How can there be peace if he didn't sign it?

He didn't sign it, but the collective editors forced him to stop. Basicly he has to keep the treaty, and we don't.

You're not an editor spying on us by an chance, are you?

Me? Godben why would I want to spy on you? Do you think they would make head scientist of the assassins guild an editor spy?

Maybe.

Think about it GB, assasins know how to sneak around, and get past security*, and they dress well and mix with the cream of society, lust like spies, well James Bond any way.





*unless Sam Vimes put the security measures there, then they fail.

umm, that should be 'just', not 'lust'. oops

So . . . you are an editor then.

no I'm not an editor or even a spy for the editors although I'm a member of the spy's guild too

You can check up on my character with Geddon, he will give a good reference I'm sure

for an assassin getting into somewhere is as easy as ABC

It's what I use anyways

Ask someone to let you in
Break the door down if they don't let you in
Kill the person you were assigned

see as easy as ABC

I hate to be pick but that was ABK.
How about this:

Ask someone to let you in
Break the door down if they don't let you in
Call the person you were assigned on the phone, but only if it is a local call or there is a special offer in place that means you can make long distance calls for the same price as a local one.

no that just doesn't work.

mine is based on a wrong spelling of kill

Well I know its K yours is better though

We could make the A and B parts longer so that they fit in with the C.

also A & B don't really fit with C, as if you've just broken down their door to get at them then phoning them is a bit pointless. You could replaces B with 'B*gger off to the nearest phone box'

and amend C to read

Call the person you were assigned on the phone, but only if it is a local call or there is a special offer in place that means you can make long distance calls for the same price as a local one. And procede to discribe in graphic detail what you are going to do to them when, next, they leave the house/building of current ocupancy.

And yes I know you shouldn't start a sentence with and.

Ditto with Paragraphs.

Yeah, but now we need to make A&B even longer.

how about:

Ask someone to let you in, politely. All the time explaining that you are not there to kill anyone or organise their brutal dismemberment, reme,bering to keep your fingers crossed, behind your back so as to not alert them to your duplicity.

B*gger off to the nearest phone booth. Searching your pockets for change along the way, stoping off at a shop along the way to ask for change when you realise that you have none. Remember to thank the person in the shop if they give you change, if they dont then brutally dismember them and get the change your self, remembering not to leave the till short as you'r not a thief.


Call...


is that ok?