Socks and Food and Drink and Sleep - To be sung, or more appropriately spoken, to the tune of Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll by the late, great Ian Dury.

Socks and Food and Drink and Sleep

Is all what Christmas means to me.

Socks and Food and Drink and Sleep

Is what my body needs.

Keep your silly toys, don't throw them out the window

Don't annoy your Gran, she's sleeping at the telly.

Dad's in the garden, he's been at the sherry.

Its all he ever does, singing you don't like.

Socks and Food and Drink and Sleep

Socks and Food and Drink and Sleep

Socks and Food and Drink and Sleep

Is what my body needs.

Every bit of clothing, makes you look so silly.

Santa hats a-glowing, always slightly smelly.

Got to wear the paper hat for Uncle Billy

See my tailor, she's called Mum, she will make it fit.

Here's a little bit of advice

You should take it Christmassy.

Don't you watch that film of Bond

Gran will just snore in your ear.

Drink the port and eat the bird

Get all you can from the day.

Get your teeth into a small slice

Of the cake of Christmassy.

Socks and Food and Drink and Sleep

Socks and Food and Drink and Sleep

Socks and Food and Drink and Sleep

Socks and Food and Drink and Sleep

Socks and Food and Drink and Sleep

Socks and Food and Drink and Sleep

Socks and Food and Drink and Sleep

Socks and Food and Drink and Sleep

Socks, Food, Drink, Sleep.

And with that, just time to wish you all A Merry Christmas and a Guid New Year. See you then, hopefully.

My Life as a Boozy Oaf
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