A Conversation for Snowflakes ~ Crystals of Ice

Edited Guide Writing Workshop: A19731693 - Snowflakes ~ Crystals of Ice

Post 1

EMFSail

Entry: Snowflakes ~ Crystals of Ice - A19731693
Author: EMFSail - U7065736

A brief introduction to snowflake formation.


A19731693 - Snowflakes ~ Crystals of Ice

Post 2

Leo


Interesting that we don't have an entry on this topic yet.

Would you consider breaking it into sections divided by headers?


A19731693 - Snowflakes ~ Crystals of Ice

Post 3

EMFSail

Hi Leo, thanks for your input.smiley - ok

Six paragraphs with two sub headers ~ I could end up with a sub header per paragraph... I feel the entry is short and consise enough not to need more sub headers. However I would be delighted to recieve your input as to what subheaders I could use and where. I do agree that sub headers make for more interesting reading of this kind of entry ~ long reams of uninterupted text are unmotivating.smiley - sadface Do not assume I will bury my head in the sand over your suggestion.

The one area where I feel a subheader would have been of use was describing sublimation, but I decided to make that a seperate entry all together. Did you read the associated, linked to, entry on sublimation?

Are you interested in snow, skiing, snowboarding, weather or anything else like that? What attracted you to this entry?smiley - winkeye


A19731693 - Snowflakes ~ Crystals of Ice

Post 4

Leo


It was in the EGWW, to which I am subscribed. Not many people actually notice things in the EGWW, so I try to pop in every once in a while. smiley - winkeye Though I have no objections to snow at all.

Do you plan on taking this all the way to the Edited Guide? If so, I can work with you to bring it up to current Peer Review. smiley - smiley

The fist subheader is unnecessary. Guide style is not to start with a header - the title is header enough. Usually people put a brief intro paragraph there.

You may want to start out, for example, with a brief description of snow itself. Then tackle the subject one bite at a time. Sublimation needs explanation.

I think if you sat down and divided the entry in sub-categories you would end up with 3 or so short sections that you can flesh out. If you do this, it will make the entry more organised and encourage you to throw in more details and explanation. smiley - cheers


A19731693 - Snowflakes ~ Crystals of Ice

Post 5

EMFSail

Thankyou for your reply, your continued interest and good tips ~ it is just the sort of response I was hoping for. I'm glad you have no objections to snow, I love the stuff.

I suspect I would like to take the entry to the Edited Guide, although the entry is part of a broader area of research I'm hoping to explore for my own development in the field. However, writing an Edited Guide Entry is a credible achievement, so I'll embrace the challenge and your help.smiley - cheers

Snow is a much broader subject than snowflakes ~ I think I wrote this entry to support later entries on snow smiley - erm. I find the problem one of developing a coordinated set of enteries cross referencing each other for my own use, and the desire to write an edited guide entry that can only link to other edited guide enteries.

I agree with you about the first subheader, (thanks for the guidelines on Guide style ~ should I check up on guide style elsewhere on the site?) I also take your point about a brief introduction and clutch of sub~categories. I'll also develop the important subject of sublimation.

I'll be away from the computer for the first two weeks in March, so let's see if we can bring the entry up to speed before the end of the month ~ give me a couple of days.

Should I remove the entry from the EGWW to work on it, or can I leave it there as I change it? Or should I create a new entry to work on, and leave this version here in its original form? (questions, questions, questions!)

Thanks again for your assistance ~ how did you get wrapped up in all this hootoo stuff?


A19731693 - Snowflakes ~ Crystals of Ice

Post 6

Leo


A friend dragged me in years ago. She dropped off, I stayed, and it's like an addiction... Let me warn you - dump the habit while you still can. smiley - biggrin

Here are two links to help you with the style:
</*>SubEditors-Style<*/>
</*>SubEditors-GuideML<*/>

I would say leave it in the workshop for now so anyone else can knock by and put in their smiley - 2cents while you work on it. I'm hardly the big know-it-all around here. smiley - winkeye

If you intend to do many more entries on the topic of snow, then it is more important than ever to keep it organised. I realised this with a h2g2 Uni project I'm working on. (A Uni project is 5 or more entries on a single topic - it's more complicated to pull off than a entry, but also more comprehensive.) You don't want to repeat yourself too often, so you need to figure out what to put where. smiley - erm

In this case, I'd say you should write the best entry you can about snowflakes and let the other entries follow however they do. smiley - smiley

I would recommend working with this entry, but redoing it from scratch if you deem it necessary. I happen to have a drop of extra time these next few weeks, so post when you've tidied it up and a I'll give it another critique. smiley - oksmiley - cheers


A19731693 - Snowflakes ~ Crystals of Ice

Post 7

Leo

I can't seem to get the links to work. Just paste the following words onto the URL where it currently says /threadxyz123
SubEditors-Style
SubEditors-GuideML


A19731693 - Snowflakes ~ Crystals of Ice

Post 8

aka Bel - A87832164

What you need to do is, replace the * with .

<./>SubEditors-Style</.>
<./>SubEditors-GuideML</.>

Bel - ex sub-ed smiley - biggrin


A19731693 - Snowflakes ~ Crystals of Ice

Post 9

Leo

</.>SubEditors-Style<./>
</.>SubEditors-GuideML<./>

smiley - biggrin Thanks!

See what a semester of programming does to a person?
Where is </ .> from? Java?


A19731693 - Snowflakes ~ Crystals of Ice

Post 10

Leo


smiley - sadface Wait, that didn't work either...

<./>SubEditors-GuideML</.>


A19731693 - Snowflakes ~ Crystals of Ice

Post 11

Leo


*That* did! smiley - biggrin Thanks.


A19731693 - Snowflakes ~ Crystals of Ice

Post 12

aka Bel - A87832164

smiley - rofl


A19731693 - Snowflakes ~ Crystals of Ice

Post 13

EMFSail

Thanks for that Leo ~ that will give me someting to be getting on with ~ I'll get back to you soon when I've got something new for you. Have a smiley - ale on me.smiley - cheers


A19731693 - Snowflakes ~ Crystals of Ice

Post 14

Leo

OK,
I'm going to intersperse nit-picking with more serious suggestions, so bear with me...

>>neither should they be mixed up with ‘hail’, which is formed from liquid water. <<
- what else is water besides liquid? smiley - erm


>>Snowflakes are individually sculpted by Nature through an extraordinary process called ‘sublimation’.

Sublimation<<

- marvelous segue into the first section. smiley - ok


>>Sublimation describes the process of a substance changing directly from its solid state directly to its gaseous state without becoming a liquid, and vice versa.

- sublimation descrbies? not "sublimation is"?


>>Early in their life, snowflakes form a simple eight sided, hexagonal crystal with six ‘prism facets’ around them, and two ‘basal facets’ below and above them. Depending on the temperature and humidity they can be long and thin, broad and flat or anyting in between.<<

- I'm afraid you've lost me here, possibly because I'm not sure if we're talking 3D or 2D. When you say "above", for example, on a 2D it means the equivelent of North on a map (there are only 3 other sides). On a 3D , it means whichever side is pointing upward (there are five other sides).

- Also, how can a prism/hexagon/etc be long and thin?

- I see you explain the dimensions in the next paragraph, but maybe it should come earlier or be mixed in somehow.


I always wondered what hte difference between 'supercooled' and sublimated was. CAn you either explain or link to an explanation? (in Exceptions)

Otherwise, quite good. Much improved. I think you can move it into Peer Review when you're done with the above changes. smiley - biggrinsmiley - cheers




A19731693 - Snowflakes ~ Crystals of Ice

Post 15

EMFSail

Thanks for a thoughtful and comprehensive reply. Here's your Shirley smiley - bubblysmiley - cheers

Yep ~ liquid water is a tautological mistake ~ I did spot it (honest!~) but was too tired to fix it (of course!~). smiley - erm

Thanks for the seuge remark. smiley - biggrin

Yep ~ sublimation 'is' this process.

>>Early in their life, snowflakes form a simple eight sided, hexagonal crystal with six ‘prism facets’ around them, and two ‘basal facets’ below and above them. Depending on the temperature and humidity they can be long and thin, broad and flat or anyting in between.<<

This is tricky ~ maybe I should say they're like a hexagonal coin ~ the basal facets being 'heads' and 'tails' (perhaps better to say 'on the top and bottom') ~ good point.smiley - ok

Yep, I am talking 3D here, and when they are long and thin they resemble pencils ~ does that make it clearer? I'll try and work in the comment about all things being 3D here.smiley - ok

I'll work in a footnote for supercooled, although the text I put in does cover it (sort of) ~ As I understand it, very pure water in clouds cannot freeze (condense) because there is nothing to condense (freeze) onto (because it's so pure) and so exists as a liquid even though it's below zero degrees celcius. Snowflakes provide a surface to condense onto (as they come tumbling through the cloud to the bit with supercooled water in it) but it is not sublimation because the state change is liquid to solid.

Supersaturated is a bit the same smiley - magic I also find these things complicated smiley - erm but then... that's why I'm researching them. I'll try to work in a few footnotes.smiley - ok

I don't want to drift too far beyond the scope ~ I want the reader to understand there's more to snow than the 'white stuff' we see, and in the mood for finding out more at 'snowcrystals.com', where there are pictures, diagrams, animations and detailed explainations.

Oh, by the way, if your under~aged, i'm smiley - tea total smiley - cheerssmiley - winkeye...you're not really are you ?smiley - erm? That would make you a boy scout. smiley - winkeyesmiley - laugh


A19731693 - Snowflakes ~ Crystals of Ice

Post 16

EMFSail

Right ~ that's capped my column (*groan* ~ bad snowflake punsmiley - blush) ~ the entry is beginning to run away with me, If I don't stop here it will become overly rimed and stop being sublime (*duhh* ~ bad snowflake metaphorssmiley - winkeye). Tweaked, added to, generally polished ~ hope you agree. Look forward to hearing from you ~ I'm off to read the rest of Big Al's Alchemy entry.smiley - cheers


A19731693 - Snowflakes ~ Crystals of Ice

Post 17

Leo


Looks fine to me. smiley - ok Of course, people will have more to say in PR. You can get it there by scrolling up, clicking the Edited Guide Writing Workshop link, scrollin down, clicking the X next to this entry on the list, going back to the entry, clicking 'submit for review' on the right, and then choosing Peer Review from the drop down. smiley - puff

GOod luck! smiley - ok


A19731693 - Snowflakes ~ Crystals of Ice

Post 18

EMFSail

Thanks Leo smiley - ok I'm going to be offline for a couple of weeks so I look forward to cathching up with you when I get back. smiley - coolsmiley - ale


A19731693 - Snowflakes ~ Crystals of Ice

Post 19

Leo


smiley - oksmiley - cheers Good luck in PR!


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