h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Three Deaths of Jeremiah Harper - A1900289
Author: Hypatia (not watching the world series) - U200042

Happy Halloween, Jodan. Since you don't want peanyt M&M's for trick or treat, this will have to do. Be gentle. It's a first draft.

H

In all my months in the AWW - the first thing for me

I'm off for a read.

Naked

H - I had no idea you were capable of this.

If there was one thing that bothered me about the whole thing, it was the line "I have spent nearly ninety of your earth years..." I realize he's probably become detatched from earth, but I just find it distracting... I've seen too many bad alien movies

Very neato. I expected a horror-ish story, but it's very intelligent and interesting. Strong ending too. 'Then I will be free' is a great way to end it, I think.



Naked

I'll change that line. Well, it started out to be a horror story. Halloween coming up and all. But then I got sidetracked. I could change the tone and make it more like a horror story throughout if you think it would be better that way.


H

Done. Phrase removed. Do you think I should get rid of the next to last paragraph? Not say anything about being an apprentice guide? One paragraph makes it sound like he's continuing on and the next makes it sound like he's vanishing into nothingness - which was the original intent.

H

Hi there!



I like it.

Er, there's one typo in "I have _spend_ nearly ninety years here in the university."

Here, have some and a
(You need a after reading that.)

Thanks Bob. drunk, eaten, and typo corrected.

If you were depressed reading it, imagine how I felt writing it. It's my first attempt at a horror-type story. Probably my last.

H

No, no: keep at it!

Did you know there's h2g2 fiction central (A294833)? It's run by Pereguin (last posted May 18th ), but there's other stories there so if you need any help, or want to talk to any other hhgg writers, that's the place to go.

story. I like the side track, it's interesting. I can see it's potential for horror too. I don't think it's a question of better, it would be different.

H, I think the last two paragraphs are confusing as they are, though it didn't spoil the story for me. I made sense of them by assuming he was continuing on at the university but with no sense of self, of identity, after that third death. He'd just be a part of some sort of gestalt of knowledge. But that does conflict with the indication earlier that the university is a stage of the journey.

The other way to understand it is that the choice to stay at the uni is a temporary one but " will work as an apprentice guide" sounds like a decision being made for some significant amount of time which conflicts with the idea that the third death is to come soon (with the death of Samuel) and that he is writing this as he looks back over his ninety years..

Another question I had from the second last paragraph was whether "But it will take ninety times ninety years to truly reach enlightenment." meant he was going to reach the third death without enlightenment? And if so what would be the consequences of that? Nothing I suppose, if he ends up as nothing.

I like the atsmosphere of this - that sort of detached view of his death, his hometown and of all that is happening as he becomes detached from his self.

The idea of becoming nothing is uncomfortable enough to qualify for Halloween even without the horror. So thanks H,
Waz

Wonderful. This would be perfect for a hallowe'en edition of the UG, should such a thing occur. If only you'd written it a week earlier. Still a good seasonal treat for thems of us that haunt the AWW.

Not supposed to be here right now, (shh! You didn't see me!) so I'll come back and comment properly later.

Waz, I certainly agree that it's confusing and needs some reworking. What I was thinking toward the end was that with the third death Jeremiah would be gone forever and he would be free to assume a 'real' identity, move to a higher plane and strive for enlightenment there or reincarnate back into the physical plane and start all over again.

The germ of the idea comes from Arapaho culture where they believe in the 3 death philosophy. Of course I don't think they would put it into a reincarnation context.

Whether existence continues on some other level or not after the third death, Jeremiah will be gone forever. And I think that what we all fear is a loss of identity more than a loss of the physical body. That's why the idea of Heaven is so much more comforting that the Eastern idea of an endless cycle of lives. We want to remain who we are.

I'll work on it, but won't have time for it today. Soon, though. Thanks for reading it.

H

Speckly, I won't tell a soul.

H

Ok, I've made some changes. I think it's better now.

H

Hi all,

I read this piece a couple of days ago and liked it, but didn't know quite what to say, and coming back to have another look, i see that it has changed quite a bit, particularly the ending.

I still like it, and i think the reworked ending works. Why did you scrap the whole uni idea? Or more specifically, the idea of acting as a kind of guide and mentor to others during the final period? I thought that had some interesting connotations that worked well too.

Personally, I don't really like that final phrase. It states rather baldly something that doesn't seem quite to fit in with the generally 'christian' cultural background up til that point. Well, that was my initial reaction, anyhow.

Anyway, i like the overall style very much, and it was particularly interesting reading this foray into the world of prose after having seen several of your poems here.

cyaround
spiff

Hi Spiff.

I thought that the tone of the piece originally changed about half-way in, and I wanted to make it more consistent throughout. As for the ending, I was trying to show that Jeremiah's Christian preconceptions weren't realized. It seemed to fit more into the horror genre that way. And I wanted it to be a horror story for Halloween.

I think that the university/guide angle is interesting also. I'd like to do another piece sometime with something similar as the focus. In which case the story could be inspirational.

This is my first attempt to write horror, so I'm sure it has many flaws.

H

I hope you won't take it amiss if i suggest that this doesn't strike me as a 'horror' story at all.

It's all rather lovely, really. In any case, centred around thoughts of love and peace.

Or as they say in France, 'pisse ernd lerv'.

Well, they would'nt write it like that, but that's the way it'd sound.

Anyway, it doesn't so much 'give you the shivers' as inspire thoughts on the nature of life and death.

h'ppy h'ween
spiff

Congratulations! Your Guide Entry has been picked from the Alternative Writing Workshop (AWW) by our miners and has been accepted by the editors for inclusion in the H2G2 UnderGuide! It will be featured on H2G2's front page in due course and then be displayed on the shelves of the UnderGuide.

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Jodan

Thanks for your comments Spiff. Apparently I'm not cut out to write horror. This story is about as horrific as I can become. Whatever genre the story is, I hope folks enjoy it. Actually, I'm glad it is more reflective than spooky - although I was shooting for spooky and didn't quite make it. Perhaps it will appeal to people at other times of the year this way.

But it's still good for the Halloween edition because it's about death. Thanks for rushing it in Jodan.

H