h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have just been listening to people on Radio 5 struggling gamely to cope with BBC UK General Election Day Guidelines.



If I get a , will anyone read undue significance into whether I drink it with my left hand or my right hand?

Well I surely will, but that's only to know which hand is idle. Try holding a pen all the time.

Speaking as an apolitical Angel, people would notice if you tried drinking it with your right or left wing ....

Would anyone like an apolitical ?

Oh, any you can't have a beard. Try holding a meaningless document and grumbling. Makes it look like you're .

I'd rather have a beer than a beard any day! Cheers!
*Picks up a party manifesto and starts grumbling*

Oooo, dosen't our candidate look busy? You bet he does!

(Pours self a . Wonders, not for the first time, about what some of his companions have been consuming).

You need to have a pet. Something furry. Perhaps a , or.

*Folds the manifesto into the shape of a pig with wings, and places it on the bar. Watches as it completely fails to move*

Hic!

And about that manifesto. It has to be longer. Try using more words, bigger fonts, and double spaced lines. And in tripplicate. Important people look like they're carying important documents.

*The paper pig falls onto its side and rolls off the edge of the bar ... unnoticed*

We need to write him a slogan. "Ormy-Oh My!" or "Ormy-Amego" or "Amazing Ormy"

He already has a slogan: "Mine's a pint"

Well the deed is done, X marks the spot. i'll have a

And mine's a Grumpfuttock.

Well done Gedge! I'm still trying to summon up the energy to go to the polling station. Hopefully I'll make it in the next nine and a half hours...

(Pours and )

Thanks Ormy

Wow, that one went down quickly!
(Pours another for Bumblebee and one for self)
There you go. .

Thanks again
Cheers