h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Can't a gent come into his local for a quiet without being taken hostage and having s thrown at him? I don't know, what's the virtual world coming to?

Very wise!

OK, I suppose crime fighting is best left to you professionals and interested amateurs; I'll just sit here and be confused as to who's on which side, like in a Diana Wynne Jones book.

I'll just be confused about what a Diana Wyne Jones book is.
Is it a book written by Diana Wyne Jones, or a book bought, and the personal property of, Diana Wyne Jones.
Who is she, and why is she taking over the F&F?!?!

<BB<

Did you know you do not have exclusivity to your username ?

Did you know others on-site can readily copy ALL the information on your homepage, guide entries and journals ? Indeed, the editors have a facility whereby they actively encourage it.

Someone else can effectively set themselves up as you and go around besmirching your good name if they so desire under the current site policy, and because the site holds copyright over EVERYTHING you have ever posted from approved guide entries, user guide entries, journals, forums, your username to your homepage. You have no substantive grounds to complain…

Did you know if you use some of your ideas developed here off-site you run the risk of being sued for breach of copyright ?

Did you know that the 'non-exclusive' copyright they you may have thought protected your copyright rights, in fact means that no other potential publisher is likely to accept your work because most only accept material which they can have 'exclusive' copyright over ?

So if you wish to some day use some of your ideas generated here you effectively have to think years ahead. Otherwise you might end up like Douglas Adams who has some of his Doctor Who material in a state of limbo because he re-interrupted some of the ideas in later work.

Did you know the editors have the right to sell your material in any form whatsoever ?

The fact is they have to right to use your material in any form they desire. In the terms they have the ability to 'modify' your work. Meaning you could well be misrepresented as a matter of course without an effective method to complain. In fact, the H2G2 copyright holders have the ability to make money off your works long after you are gone.

Did you know the editors reserve the right to change site policy ?

The fact is at any time the editors can effectively ban you by making up whatever rules they so desire to exclude you, you have no recourse whatsoever.

Did you know that homepages, forums and journals are widely available elsewhere on the web absolutely free of charge and without such restrictive copyright clauses ?

The simple fact is that H2G2 operates on the goodwill the works of Douglas Adam's creates. There are many other communities on the web that don't place such all pervasive restrictions upon your work.

Did you know there are many places on the web who value your hard work and creative skills ?

The fact is that if you look hard enough, there are organisations on the web that will pay you for your research and writing skills, even if you fall into the amateur class.

SO, IN SUMMING UP…

Why don't you have any rights ?

Because you were never asked, or included in the process. So they set the criteria solely for there own exclusive benefit.

What's in it for me you may well ask ?

At the moment, kudos of writing for the guide… and stuff you would get elsewhere for nothing anyway.

All is not lost however, you do have some power. The power of numbers.

Please make sure you sign the 'Right to Have Rights Petition over at…

http://www.h2g2.com/A469578

…and see if we can change the guide for the benefit of all.

Thankyou.
M.K*

~maria slowly wakes up and wipes the drool off her chin and the sleep crispeys from her eyes. she blinks a little to let her eyes adjust and burps a mexican coffee-flavored burp. she focuses in on Matthew Kershaw standing on a soap box and ranting about something she cannot quite grasp. she then realizes she has a raging hangover and a crimp in her neck from sleeping under the table in something sticky and she lifts her bazooka and BLASTS Matthew Kershaw into little bits.~

OK! LIKE I SAID! THIS IS A HOSTAGE SITUATION! WE ARE THE CHOATIC ARMY! YOU ARE SURROUNDED! BlueBottle, don't try anything funny or I'll blast you too.

~she rubs her forehead, slowly recounting the bottles she emptied while she waited for her hostages to reappear. she looses interest before she looses count and decides she needs another drink.~

~maria sipps gingerly from a bottle of kalua as she scowls at the assembled drinkers and points her bazooka at who ever looks like they need a reminder of the dire predicament they are in. she, herself is reminded of how quiet they get when she shows up, but since her head is still throbbing, she's kinda glad of it.~
Hey, you.
~she points at someone randomly.~
Where's Uncle Heavy? He's supposed to be here.
~she settles in for the hours-long wait she has to endure whenever she asks a simple question of this lot.~

I'm here. But I'm not going to attack them. I'll just have a
And I recomend that you follow MK's link. It is quite important, I think

*Does nothing funny*
Does anyone know the Grim Squeaker's phone number? I think that only his Squeakiness can deal with this problem...

*stares blankly at the redirected tomato.*

[Death Avocado] Oi! I'm supposed to be saving you all, you know! Well, I guess I'm left with no choice...

*Pulls out a comedy haddock, as does UH. They duel. (Don't worry, I'm allowed to say this)*

[Death Avocado] Have at you! Hah!

*The battle rages. Well, fumes.*

*DD ambles back into the F&F*

Hi guys still hld hostage in here are we.

Ah well may as well have a while I'm waiting then.

*wanders in to see what all the noise is*
Oh right...novel
*passes DD what she hopes is a and then gives him a just incase it's not*
Here you go...
*wanders back out again cleaning the windows as she passes them and waving goodbye to the hostage taker people, the hostages and DD*

Hostage? Oh yes, I forgot about that.
*pours for DD and for himself*

*sighs and makes another mark on the tally*

Yeah looks that way EV.

*DD takes over to the Pool table and racks them up*

Fancy a game EV to keep you mind off things

*sticks her head round the door just long enough to grab a and laugh at the fact that even when she's not posted anything for weeks she can still get a simulpost with EV*

*grins again proudly*
Look I have my own smiley

Shush Tink don't tell EV he isn't pleased.

*shoos Tinkerbell away before things get any more confusing*
Okay DD, you go first then.

*DD breaks and a yellow hits one of the hostage takers on the forehead*

Good shot sir!