h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*wanders in, glances nonchalantly about, wonders if a is in order...*
Has everyone gone home, or am I in luck?? 'Cos I hate drinking alone!

I'm here! Sort of.

please, if you're buying.

sorry.. must have dozed off..
There you go
*pours self *
Think I'm a bit ...no, really...

Already? On one pint of Goode Intentions?

nonononono...*REALLY* !
Had an odd thought earlier..
Been out tonight (work xmas do - sigh.) Looked round the room, and thought, any one of these people could be someone I've spoken to on h2g2..actually now I think about it, that's quite a scary thought..and I'll never know...Hmm.

...Ah. I appear to be "One" again.

...

thinking...

...

thinking...

..tee-hee! (Pours ...

(Time for a gratuitous binge whilst no-one's looking..)

...

...

(Sings) Shwing low..sweet chariot..
(Falls on bar....

*joins in*
COMING FOR TO CARRY ME HOME!

*takes from by threeoftwo's snoring head*

Is anyone conscious in here? I'd like a of Goode Intentions, please!

I'll join you! It's the end of term!

Well, that does call for a celebration! (Pours )
There you go!

Cheers! Good job this is only a virtual - I've got to be in a fit state to drive home!

*floating in, in her usual vague, elf-like manner*

*pours herself a *

*polishes glasses*

Evening all! It's been a long time since I've been on h2g2 in the evening! Yes, we're now on the internet at home!

(wakes up with a jump and lots of dribble)
Wha'? Huh? (notices that someone has pinched her )
Hey! I could have sworn I had a a minute ago!
I've had the strangest dream...
(pours herself another )

(Strides in, nips behind bar, pours himself a )
Really. threeoftwo? Tell me more, tell me more...

Oh hello, Ormondroyd! (sips daintily)
Well it was like this. I was a hobbit, living in a hobbit hole, and this wizard knocked on my door and asked me if I was any good at burglary. Then all these dwarves appeared, ate all my kebabs, sang lots, and then made me go with them on this truly excellent quest! Do you think it would make a good book?
Oh BTW, that chap called me a lime jammed crumpet toastie again. Tee-hee!

I'm assuming that "lime-jammed crumpet toastie" is some sort of variation on "Limey"! There again, "crumpet" was Sixties English slang for sex, or for someone you'd like to have it with. So he could be paying us both a big compliment!
As for your dream... Are you sure that virtual alcohol is the only stimulant you've been taking?

..so what about toastie? Hot? So he could be saying, "Hot Limey I'd like to have sex with". Oh dear. Um. I suddenly feel very uncomfortable. I think I'll go back to taking it as an insult.
(rushes to bar, pours several )
Maybe you should too!! (pours Ormondroyd a few )
As for other stimulants...er...I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, and you can't prove a thing!

I think that's probably a very wise attitude. Especially the bit with the drinks. (Grabs two s, one in each hand. Sips from each in turn).