h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Why did it have to be in a question? You said that I had to give a question which I did further up, sadly it was only yesterday that I worked out what the question I was supposed to be answering actually was because I worked out the itching thing on the first day it appeared...which should probably worry me more than it does

Do I definitely not get any chocolate then? None at all? Well that's a bit unfair...can't you go and explain to them that in my fairy land we don't get Jeopardy so I wasn't aware of the harshness of the rules

Aaah well, at least we got a case of beer...
*looks around to find an empty case of beer and 24 empty beer bottles*
Oh...

Why did it have to be in a question? You said that I had to give a question which I did further up, sadly it was only yesterday that I worked out what the question I was supposed to be answering actually was because I worked out the itching thing on the first day it appeared...which should probably worry me more than it does

Do I definitely not get any chocolate then? None at all? Well that's a bit unfair...can't you go and explain to them that in my fairy land we don't get Jeopardy so I wasn't aware of the harshness of the rules

Aaah well, at least we got a case of beer...
*looks around to find an empty case of beer and 24 empty beer bottles*
Oh...

This post has been removed.

*sits sobbing*
S'cuse me was that really necessary? You've just sent me into a slump of sadness when I was all cheerful and bouncy before! Us fairy's are sensitive you know!
*returns to sobbing and wondering why Wumbeevil is being so mean when she just gave him vast amounts of whisky at no cost to himself*
Besides if you're going to be like that I can just as easily use Hanson lyrics...and I can use the christmas album if I really want to get even

*throws himself at the feet of Tinkerbell, which is very difficult when she's brumming round happily in a magical fairy car, but succeeds at the 31st attempt*

Forgive me fairy, for I have sinned. I knew not what I did...but when my megaposting vanished in a puff of evil magic, the red mist descended, something snapped in my head, and any other cliche you care to mention... well obviously I exclude irrelevant ones like "It's been a good year for the Commonwealth" and "Phew, wotta scorcher". Now I shall have to start afresh, make a clean break, go back to the drawing board, etc. and then solve the puzzle of the ungrateful whisky drinker for you all over again. This time I think I'll email the entire world and then, and only then try to post it.

*sobs, still suffering from the effects of Jin's countryman*

I'm sorry Tinkerbell, but it hurt me more than it hurt you. Do you realise how difficult it is to find the words of Butterfly for Bucky? They've been banned under the Geneva Convention.

Please not the blonde, six legged ones who appear in Michael Jackson's dreams, anything but that...yes even the Smurfs. I deserve to be punished. I'm now wracked with guilt about inflicting those lyrics on completely innocent and unsuspecting folks like yourselves.

*grabs a chain and starts whipping himself with it as an act of repentance. Vaguely wonders why the toilet keeps flushing*

PS George Russel has problems with his toilets as well:-

They huddle at night within low clay-built cabins;
And, to themselves unknown,
They carry with them diadem and sceptre
And move from throne to throne.

*continues to sit sobbing due to the deeply traumatising lyrics*
Mmmmbop.
*reads the second message and instantly becomes cheerful and excited*
Please tell me you've heard of George Russel and this isn't some strange joke of yours
*bounces more excitedly*
Please, please, please?
*bounces too quickly and falls over*
Have you, have you, have you?
*stops bouncing and starts talking really quickly instead*
IfoundthispoetrybookbyAEandithasthemostbeautifulpoemseverinitandIfoundouttodaythatitswrittenbyGeorgeRusselbutIcan'tfindanythingmoreabouthimthanatinyteenyentryintheliteratureguideandIneedtoknowmoreabouthimasitclaimsthatthebookIownneverexistedanditdoesbecauseIhaveitinmyhandinallitsgloriousness...
*takes a deep breath*
So can you help?

*sits in an expectant silence*

Has she been sitting there all this time in expectant silence? Jeez, that must be the longest you've been quiet since you had your funeral party in the country cremating the victims of marshmallow plague. Am I meant to say "Push" or "Breathe" or something to bring this expectant silence to an end? No that can't be right, as saying that would interrupt this magical moment in the joys of mutterhood. Hmm, so how can I end this silence? Eureka!

*digs out his tattered copy of "Sign Language for Midwives" and starts furiously signalling to TB in Glaswegian. Tinkerbell seems to understand however, as a few minutes later the expectant silence is over, brought to an end by the lovely sound of a little "woof, rassin' frassin' woof" from Tinkerbell*

Heya! Congratulations Tinkerbell, you're now a Fairy Dog Mutterer.

Yes I've heard of Mr. Russel, but only as Æ, which is the only reason I can think of for remembering him. At least I'm pretty sure they don't publish his work in Viz, which is as close to culture as you're dragging me, so that must be the reason.

Aaargh, I heard the dreaded Hanson revenge starting there...

..and now you want help? Nae chance, I'm still mad about last night in this forum, remember?

*looks back and realises he's not still mad (well, about last night anyway), so starts whipping himself with the toilet chain again, little realising that the sound of constant flushing doesn't go down too well in a land of severe drought...hail and tornados*

Oh please please Sant may I mat I really really really.

BTW WEvil you are the cruelect WB I have ever encountered... are you sure you are not working for the post????

Pure Evil I say... lyrics like that could and did did many people durin there time... Fortunately I am totaly imune due to my ZSero Steress Earmuffs that keep me very warm and free of any nonsense like that...
Also BTW have you talked to the military about using that stuff over load speakers.. or even better "Hanson Live"
-Jin