h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yep I'll give it a go.

Would you like a donut stall too?

Wow! First time ever I've seen an incentive to see a Eurovision Song Contest.

*Considers asking for a drink... But then realises that'd take too long, so goes behind bar and pours ||*

...

zZZZ

*Falls asleep in drip tray again...*

(But leaves || in cool spot for later)

Is there anybody still here serving or should I por my own?

*Pours Zaphod a belated *
Morning all!

*runs into forum with bandana around head screaming an carrying some seriously heavy firepower. Is about to pull the trigger when he siezes up, starts to smoke and then falls on a heap in the corner, sobbing gently*

At least England got to Belgium and Holland.

The Oxo cube one was a bit below the belt. It's their own box that the England team crumbles in.

We held the lead against the Germans, didn't we? But even Ireland could have held the lead against them...

LOL DD. Congrats (however belated) on promotion. Didn't read the backlog before.

please.

I'm not going to be around for a while after this, as I won't have any access to the Internet

Necro

Shame about that, all the England jokes are finished now...
*nips behind bar and pours a for Necro, and gets one for himself while he's there*

Why is England shaped like a pear?

I don't know. why is England shaped like a pear?

um... why is England like a pear???

baileys please if anyone's serving... or do i help myself???

Because if it was shaped like an apple, people would confuse it with Spain.
*helps self to booze*

There we go, another England joke

However lame.

Got some other pearls of wisdom from Kevin Keegan... Scientists are currently checking for a brain!!! hehe



"The 33 or 34-year-olds will be 36 or 37 by the time the next World Cup comes around, if they're not careful."

"They compare Steve McManaman to Steve Heighway and he's nothing like
him, but I can see why - it's because he's a bit different. They are both called Steve."

"Goalkeepers aren't born today until they're in their late 20s or 30s
and sometimes not even then. Or so it would appear. To me anyaway. Don't you think the same?"

"England have the best fans in the world and Scotland's fans are second to none."

"It's like a toaster, the ref's shirt pocket.
Every time there's a tackle, up pops a yellow card. I'm talking
metaphysically now of course."

"The game has gone rather scrappy as both sides realise they could win this match or lose it or draw it even."

"I don't think there's anyone bigger or smaller than Maradona. You seen the pictures as well Clive. Like an acorn I tells ya, just like an acorn."

"I know what is around the corner. I just don't know where the corner
is."

"You can't do better than go away from home and get a draw."

"...using his strength. And that is his strength, his strength. You
could say that that's his strong point."

"Chile have three options - they could win or they could lose. It's up to them, the tide is in their court now."

"I came to Nantes two years ago and it's much the same today, except
that it's totally different. The red light district is still the same mind you.

Though it's a lot bigger. And more expensive. I prefer Hamburg, more
variety. There are these ladies there with fully formed moustaches, know what I mean."

"Argentina are the second-best team in the world, and there's no higher praise than that."

"The good news for Nigeria is that they're two-nil down very early in the game."

"You'd think the Cameroonians would have learnt their lesson by now. You can't get very far with such brutal tackles. It's just not cricket you know."

Has he been at The Fuel again?

Hmmm, and we let the guy manage the team? I think I can see how we lost.

What do a three pinned plug and the England football team have in Common?

Neither of them work in Europe.

Like that DD.... made me laugh

Um.. can I have a double Glenfiddich Menza pls. That'll really end the revision where it is!!

Revision and whisky are a lethal combination.