h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Sorry, but I really cannot work in this kitchen - look at it - everythings all upside down, someone got out all the pots and pans and strewed them over the floor, the dust from the workmen traipsing in is covering every surface, it all needs cleaning up before I would even consider preparing food in here. Look, someone even managed to bolt the only comfy chair in the place to the ceiling!

*drags in sofa from different forum*

Here you go, you can have a comfy seat here.

bu but but but it isn't the same!
I want my old kitchen back, with all the things put away on the top shelf when you unpack the shopping and the can-opener that only works when it likes and the dodgy oven timer!

Well it will take a little time to get used to.

but you can't just go round changing a cook's kitchen like that
cooks get settled and comfortable
they stop cooking if you upset them

And you have gone on strike, which means you are probably up set.

very so

i'll give you a hand in the kitchen if you like.....i love cooking and you can give me all the small jobs you don't like to do
*produces a brush to start cleaning and raises eyebrows in question*

*Big Sympathy*

It's like when at work, they made me move bench... I was very annoyed for a while because it was all "Tidy"!!. But I soon got everything how I liked it again... I'm sure you'll get this place looking well used in no time If you need any help tidying or anything then I'm quite willing.

well i'm willing to do the tidying as long as i'm not treading on anyones toes.....you know how important it is to have everyting in exactly the right place!
but if you want to grab a rag, at least we can get rid of some of the dust to start with!
this could be fun!

*unbolts sofa from ceiling*

Sorry!

*unbolts range from ceiling*

Would seem that ended up up there as well as a result of this weekend...

*removes onions tied to taps, reconnects the extractor fan so that it sucks rather than blows and removes the tea towels from the fridge*

Hey! All that other stuff wasn't me!

Apart from maybe the teatowels.

A hitchhiker should always know where his towel is, so we can't really do with having them in the fridge. Have you ever hitchhiked with a fridge? Or, for that matter, in a fridge? Actually, some weeks ago, I came up with a novel new student energy saving means by proposing sleep-in fridges, though it was ditched as the final blueprints looked disturbingly like a morgue.

*Starts polishing the worktops*

I've not hitchhiked with a fridge, but have you read Tony Hawks' book Round Ireland With A Fridge. It's about exactly what it sounds like it's about, and it's fantastic. (Also a good cautionary tale as to why you shouldn't make bets when drunk...)

How the hell did he hike round Ireland with a fridge?

He just did! I would explain more, but I don't think I could do it justice - I *really* recommend you read the book! It's very funny, and also one of the most uplifting things I've read recently.

Unfortunately I have no spare time at the moment, ut side of what I spend here of course.

(of course...!)