h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The fifth srving hatch is now open for business

Tonight's meal is chicken (or vegetable) pie, sauteed potatoes, peas, carrots and chocolate cake.

Sounds great.

tonight for dinner is a campfire

here are the directions:

take one sheet of kitchen roll - that is the clear area for the fire
get a cup of lemonade - this is your water bucket
take some square chocolate biscuits and lay them out - this is the altar base
take some pink wafters and lay them in two high in two parallel rows - a tunnel of bricks
frosties and broken easter eggs make "punk" - the little bits of dry leaves and grass that make lighting a fire with one match and no cheating possible
lay the matchmakers in an A or pyramid propped over the punk - small wood leaving enough space for air to circulate
"light" the fire by adding red smarties
add some chocolate fingers once the matchmakers have "caught"
the fire gets going - add more smarties and eat the frosties
let the fire die down - eat some of the red smarties and matchmakers
put lengths of curly wurly accross the bricks - this is your grate
stick a sugar cigarette into a marshmallow and put on the grate - this is your pot
finish cooking - eat the pot
let the fire die away (eat some more of the matchmakers and fingers)
put the fire out (drink the lemonade and eat all the smarties)
let the fire cool and clear away "leaving no trace" (eat the rest and dispose of the kitchen towel carefully)

Hmm. Scouts campfires were far simpler. Find a space (preferably outside) with convenient access to loose twigs to burn and water, make fire, light it, put sausages on, cook till they're indistinguishable from the embers, eat.

One of many reasons why I'm a vegetarian

Guide camp fires are often less of a raging inferno and the sausages are actually edible when done, that's why Guide camp hasn't managed to put me off meat yet.
Been on survival cmap too and if that doesn't put you off meat, nowt will.
Actually, I don't like to buy meat from a supermarket or chain butcher - it is the herding and butchering cruelty not the killing and eating of meat that is my objection.

Yes, there's a lot wrong with the way many animals a farmed. I can just about handle the idea that they're killed for meat (even if I don't eat it) if they're given a decent life prior to that. And meat eaters who baulk at the idea of where meat has come from have a problem...

I #prefer# to eat meat that I know the farmer and the butcher, or even wild meat that I have caught myself and done the dirty deed myself - although some would say "eugh", I think that it is better than buying mass farmed stuff

To be perfectly honest I just don't think about it that much.

This weekend, food will not be served by me in this servery, instead it will be out of doors somewhere in Oxford, cooked over a wood fire by groups of Guides supervised by me.

There is plenty in the freezer and the cupboard is programmed to issue rations of cake for those in withdrawal.

Have a nice weekend.... mine is going to be soggy.

And slightly muddy.

Have fun and make sure that the guides spend more time in the rain that you do.

Okay, thanks

*Sit next to the cake dispensing machine looking whistful*

couldn't you work out how it works?

I lost the instructions.

Anyway, how are you?

tired
tired
tired
but dry - despite the rain

just in case you need to know - take a drawer and withdraw it

*opens draw*

CAKE.

Take the evening off, I'll cook.

what is for dinner?

Take away.

http://www.h2g2.com/A311455 ?

And the cool thing was that I had to do very little work for it.