h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*calls Kitty back and hangs a St Bernard style barrel full of Ginger Ale round his neck*

*splits her bar of belgian chocolate in half and ties some to Kitty's tailto be later passed on to Ænder,assuming Kitty is well trained and doesn't eat it first*
Can I have a hot orange please Menz? I've got snuffles

*pours warm *



The heating has packed up in my office.

*teeth chatter loudly*

*looks on enviously at the prospect of having had heating to pack up in the first place*
I'm wearing 2 pairs of woolly socks at the minute and I'm still freezing, our house is so cold! And you know whats worse, I found myself moaning about the weather being too cold when it's only -3! I've become southern

*pours another extra warm *

Here you go.

*adopts unexplained Yorkshire accent*
Luxury! It were -6 up 'ere today. Of course, having lived in Newcastle for a year, I went out wearing a t-shirt and no jacket, and felt nowt.

*Kitty drinks the ginger ale, hiccoughs , and decides milk is better and then munches on the chocolate and goes nosing around the Green Fairy because (a) he doesn't like things tied to his tail and (b) he can smell the rest of the bar and Belgian chocolate is rather yummy and (c) scritching and cuddling a nice warm giant cave lion is quite a good way of getting warm unless you're a scaredy human(1)*

(1) scaredy cat is a contradiction in terms

Hello Kitty! *strokes Kitty*

*grins*
Is that you proving you're macho-ness EV? No scaredy humans in here

*runs at Kitty and scritches his chin*
I miss my Kitty at home, if I bring you lots of belgian (and truffels ) can I be an adoptive feeder and have cuddles in return?

In our office the directors are away this week, so they've switched the boilers off and we can't get at the boilers to switch them on again as guess who has the keys?

<BB<

Er.... Elton John?

It was just a guess.

Kitty quite likes chocolate, especially good quality chocolate, but and the like are his usual foods, with to drink in \________________________/ sized bowls. Just watch out when he's feeling playful and don't let him roll you over - humans tend to get rather squished beneath cave lions, and he's a tad overgrown.

*Ændr scritches Kitty behind his left ear*

Triple chocolate chip rich dark chocolate sponge pudding anyone? I made a whole batch but 3 is quite enough for one girl, so I have 15 left.

Yes please! I'm just nipping out to find a for Kitty, won't be long.

*licks lips at the thought of chocolate sponge pudding*
Mmmmmmmm

*passes a to Kitty but restrains from feeding Kitty Rudolph*

*puts some chocolate puddings on the counter and some extra thick cream in a bowl with a spoon (too thick for pouring)*

Heat them up for 30 seconds on high in the microwave (there's one in the servery kitchen.) Oh, and some home-made vanilla ice cream in the freezer. The one on the right. The one on the left is Kitty's.

*pours (_) and \_______________/ than grabs a pudding*



*Dashes off to microwave*

*sits patiently waiting for chocolate sponges to appear*

They are (or were) on the counter. Didn't you see me put them there?

*Walks back in with a big chocolatly grin*

Did you eat them ALL Menza?!