h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well,Wowbagger seems pleased!
shazz

*Sumo throws salt on floor and takes his place in the queue of people waiting to spank wowbagger*
Er, excuse me mr Sumo Sir but I think I was in front of you in the queue!
*Sumo picks up Vestboy and throws him across the room. Vestboy bounces of hi-fi and bumps his head on the spade.*
Oi, who left this spade here?

Damn! I'm always late for parties!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WOWBAGGER!
As a present you get my super-exclusive Security Officer's cap, which entitles you to torture and interrogate people at your own discretion.

Hey - Do I get to do some spanking too?
*Take a big baton from his belt and grins wickedly*
Oh. You mean spanking ISN'T the same as knocking senseless?

SMILE - IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!

Goth-with-the-stick!

Why am I evil? Good question, Icky! It's right here in my "contract with humanity", Paragraph 49, line 8: "agrees to be evil". Right after "will dress as clown of death on civic occasions".

Cheers!

da Baron
A goldfish in every pot, and a crack-smoking zombie-mime on every corner!

Civic occasions? Mine says "whenever the occassion shan't call for it..." Hmm... tought break...

Well, what is taking so long? There is nothing so satisfying as watching a Sumo bring his hand down on someone's bum...

I tell you, the reverberation is spectacular... gives one the gooseys

Writhes on the floor with a mixture of disgust, pain and an odd feeling of pleasure.

Thanks for the security hat Mr Goth! I'll interrogate some of the better looking members of the party later.

Now... bring on the dancing girls!!! (No Baron... that DOESN'T include you!)

That's not something any of us want to see.

where's Shazz when you need her??
here shazzy shazzy....here shazzy shazzy.....come out come out wherever you are!!
monsy

Sorry I'm late everyone...Happy Birthday by the way, whats it like to 30

Finished the yard-glass yet Wowbagger? If so, fill them up again lad.

I don't normally drink a lot but I seem to have a hole in my body. Must be old age. Over 30.

I'm here I am sooooo glad to see that Wowbagger has enjoyed himself.What are we all going to do now?!!
shazz

Avoid singing showtunes.

Oh no!! Thats what we all do best
*Oooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkk..
lahoma~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
shazz

Er... no.

HA-HA!!! You're 30 and I'm NOT!!!

Just popped in... Happy birthday Wowbagger, we all love you extra extra much and we think you're ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL! Because you are, you see... absolutely wonderful that is.

Fenchurch!! Is that any way to treat somebody who's only ten years away from a midlife crisis?

Oh, but he'll never go through a midlife crisis! He's just TOO PERFECT! I think the rest of the WORLD should go into a crisis just because they know they'll NEVER be as great as HIM!!

(I'm excellent at redeeming myself, eh? )

Good save.

Yes......well fielded Fenny
shazz

Hey Wowbagger!

Having recently (although within a year, still somewhat less recently than I'd like) reached the age of 30 myself, I applaud your longevity in the face of the exhortation to "live fast, die young" which typified our respective youths, I don't doubt! As long as you can still "live fast", that is...

Happy birthday!

Regards,

H.