DISH THE DIRT 3
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Post all Scandal Here!
Please remember the rules of h2g2,and keep these as clean as possible.In the interests of state security, I will be pleased to receive any more spurious comments through the *voting box* or over icq .The best (and funniest) will be abridged below
Dirt On Shorty
Dirt of a personal nature!
Shorty for Mayor...?
Azza has problems holding his drink... he only has two hands. In Reading he got smashed in the station's pub, he suggested three-in-a-bed romp with a girl he had just been introduced to (BY ME) in Zanzibar's night-club in Newport, Gwent,after suggesting a 'pull a bird' contest. Don't ask about what happened the night England beat Colombia 2-0 in the World Cup last year... I'm sure that Majestix don't need the adverse publicity.
He is a misogynist. See the 'pull a bird' incident above.
He has no regard for rail safety (after the crash at Ladbroke Grove et al). After a particularly good night on the town, he leaned on a train about to leave Bradford station and would have fallen on the tracks.
The man couldn't hold onto money if his life depended on it. Going into power, he would be heavily into debt because of the cost of producing propaganda and paying bribes.
Shorty for Mayor...? Looks like he's got all the right qualities.
I have a better picture of Azza 'Shorty' Gray. It was taken from his recent Kensington and Clelsea by-election defeat (ran under the manifesto 'kill the shandy drinking Cockney scum', just one of his soundbites which alienated the voters).
Sadly this picture is no longer available
'I know I believe in nothing but it is my nothing...'
'And whats wrong with been mad and trying to take over the world???... I thought that was part of the qualifications for the post"'
'Orman, England are just a bunch of jammy gits... they have more lives than the average cat. Maybe now they will pull there fingers out and try winning for once...'
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Dirt On Wowbagger
Childish Behavoir?
Okay I can handle some good hard ROCKIN'! (Nana - Nana) Dude looks like a lady...
(Nana - Nana) Dude looks like a lady...
If I am elected I have already modelled my acceptance speech in the style of James T. Kirk, finishing off with a haunting rendition of 'Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds'.
New Manifesto: The national anthem should be changed to Kirk singing 'Mr Tamborine Man'.... no. scratch that... Leonard Nimoy's 'Bilbo Baggins'. YES! Far more entertaining!
Childish behaviour indeed! (You'll be poking fun at my life size cut out of Jean Luc Picard as Locutus next!) Or my bendy Popeye Doll or my Tombowler collection or my lucky glow-in-the-dark copy of Spiderman.
Now that is just stealing my lines, Wowbagger. Every body see, I have been stolen from.
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Dirt On JzGYK
Yes, in the grand tradition of shameless vote-grubbing which is British politics, I bring you: the promise of Free Tea! For everyone!! For ever!!!
All cats to be released through the catflap after a maximum of three fumbling attempts to smooth their fur. Yes, the latest policy is.... 'Three Strokes And You're Out'
I will outlaw the use of C, C++, Cobol, Fortran, Pascal, ADA, ALgol and lots of other programming languages. This policy is called 'Back to BASIC.'
No Victorian values were killed in the making of this policy.
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Dirt On Fruitbat
I only heard about this today and was hoping I could let you in on some dirt about Fruitbat before you vote:
He calls himself a Brit living in Vancouver, Canada... he moved here when he was two years old and all of a sudden, in his mid-teens, (after watching way too much Monty Python) he developed a sort of British accent. I happen to know this because, being his sister and also a Brit living in the Colonies, I was there when it happened.
Maybe if he wins this election he will go to London and get himself a real accent!
(From a Forum)I hear he's not even really a fruitbat! I hear he's really a VAMPIRE BAT!
Well, what's one more blood-sucker in politics?
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Dish The Dirt 1 Dirt on NM, Da Baron, Merkin and Icarus
Dish The Dirt 2 Dirt on MM, Fenchurch, Dudemeister and Marv
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