Dish the Dirt Here!!

4 Conversations

Post all Scandal Here!

Please remember the rules of h2g2,and keep these as clean as possible.In the interests of state security, I will be pleased to receive any more spurious comments through the *voting box* or over icq .The best(and funniest) will be abridged below

Dirt On NM

I beg to differ. I have heard many... er... Fairly Strange things about this character, which I don't feel I'm at liberty to tell... just yet.

Let's just say that if this guy's voted in, my travel plans to London are on hold.

What do you think 'NM' stands for, anyway... No Mayor?

no, that's not it.

But it JUST AS WELL COULD BE.

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Latest On NM!

Rumours have been flying that NM has a penchant for cuddly bears,not to mention flowers! Our roving reporter managed to sneak this update picture to us. Thanx to whomever!
Sorry... this picture is not available at the moment!

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Dirt On Da Baron

I hear that Baron fellow's been going about BRIBING people with goldfish! Even to the point of bribing the election committee, (that's a funny-looking word) and actually trying to buy VOTES with goldfish!

He's a cad and a bounder, if ever there was one!

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I hear Baron even has been known to wear wide lapels on a regular basis... why if that is not bad enough he even has been seen in seedy little hangouts with low life types that don't believe in Santa Claus!!!!

Da Baron And Fenchurch!!

I've already told you I'd be happy to cook for YOU anytime, Fenchurch!

da Baron:I thought we had come to an agreement on the power-sharing thing, Fenchurch!After all, it's a SMALL SILO! snicker snicker

You scratch my back...

'Shhh!!! You can't let THEM know about it, are you crazy? They'll catch on, and then we'll be ruined...'(Fenchurch)

*Looks about, carefully* Oh, that's right! THEY are everywhere! I forgot!

*looks about furtively* psssst! Fenchurch! Think that fooled 'em? Er, I mean STRAIGHTENED 'EM OUT?

Yes, I'm digging a hole, where the rain gets in!

And stops my mind from wandering- where it will go!

Actually, the hole is for my and Fenny's bullion... er, the London treasury... er, a safe-deposit for the treasury! I think that's it!

Fenchurch and I shall excercise our benign dictatorship from our cozy little ABANDONED MISSILE SILO in the Mojave desert!

That's why, if elected, I'll make POLITICS illegal, and announce MYSELF as SUPREME RULER, Lord Protector of the Empire, and all that rot!

At GREAT PERSONAL SACRIFICE, *I* will take the reigns of power in my hands, and lead London, and the rest of the world into a blissful era FREE of POLITICS, and the assassin's and whatnot who come along with it!

First, we'll shoot all the politicians...

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Here are some interesting *goings on* in various forums!


I'd worrry about what he's putting in that chili.

I have a direct quote from da Baron: "Yes, we like our steak, and our beef stew, and if you get in our way, we might eat YOU!"

Ha, and he complains about my advisors; at least they're not cannibals!

No wonder chili forms such a pivotal part of his manifesto. He plans to eat his constituents. This is a deplorable action and I feel I must censure it in the strongest possible terms.

He has also confessed to the cold blooded murder of Bambi, and Bambi's mum: "We have Bambi for dinner...and his momma too!"

It'll be Rivers I Blood I tell ye, Rivers of Blood!

Are you silly, Merkin? Truth, Justice, and Politicks just DON'T MIX

I'VE been plotting to take over the world for all these years

It's MINE, y'hear me? First London, then Luxemborg, then Alexandria, THEN THE WORLD!

Well, "is there anything else I can bribe ya with" WILL be a part of the official swearing-in process, ONCE I'M ELECTED

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1 October, 1999; 12:13 AM. And I quote: "Count Fenny Fish as goldfish (which means you can make your own money!)... Anything else I can use to bribe ya?"

I was so apalled I nearly gasped.

He steals everything. I have it on good authority that he stole his own grandmother, while she was busy baking him a nice fish pie.

Oh yes, a fish pie!!

STEALING fish? My word! What kind of bounder do you think I am? I would NEVER steal someone's fishy! That would be unethical! And such!

In an effort to make sure the male arse isn't displayed in all it's gory reality to traffic, I think one should let the female of the species do the driving when engaging in traffic humps.

Preferably, with her shirt off... Baron

If elected, I'll make "I'm your boogie man", the official anthem of the City of London!

"I'm your boogie man!

That's what I am!"

Are you silly, Merkin? Truth, Justice, and Politicks just DON'T MIX!

Well, "is there anything else I can bribe ya with" WILL be a part of the official swearing-in process, ONCE I'M ELECTED

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Dirt On Merkin

...This is a quote from this candidate:

'Yea, though I walk through the shadow of Kettering, yet I fear not.

For one is soon to rise from the depths of Deptford, and they will smite forth with mighty vengeful machine guns, laying vast tracts of Northamptonshire to waste...'
Ermm! It's not a good idea to upset the returning officer Merkin!

...And then S/He saw Northampton.Welcome, one and all. These are dark times, but our way shall be lit with the burning cadavers of the heretics (is that too harsh? ).

We must stand strong against the whisperings of small haddocky creatures.
I still don't like this!!

Direct Quote:

I'm with NM on this one... there's no point having Democracy without corruption.

I don't think we should allow issues to get in the way of politics. Isn't that the job of the press?

...and get thee to the mall, Baron, for I am sharpening my assassinators.... oops, I mean ADVISORS.

'Now THERES some dirt for you, Shazz!

Merkin is threatening ASSASINATION, right here in a public forum!

ASSASSINS! Right here on H2G2! See what politics does to even the most peaceful of places?' Da Baron

Ohohoouugououoguouhougohuo...of all the low down dirty corrupt, back handed, double stiched, apple turnovered, Uncle Albert, tricks.

Bloody gorgeous.

'Is there anyone in this election who believes in truth and justice etc etc, because if there is, it's high time we advised them....' As Tony Blair says "Corruption, Corruption, Corruption!"

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Dirt On Icarus

This candidate seems to have a 'superiority complex!'I quote:

You mean there are actually people out there so brain-bubblingly idiotic that they try to lick self-stick stamps?

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Well, myself, i am still pondering the affects of having Icarus in office... I mean he may be well dressed but he is still an APE!!!

come on folks think about this for a moment!!!Do we really need an ape in office??? Isn't there enough monkeying around government already??

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