h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

There will be a period of unscheduled trouser downtime on Friday, 13 April, 2007 in order for the Flant Lovers And Nonsense ramblers Team to carry out essential pointing and laughing maintenance. The downtime will begin at 1630BST, but should be complete by teatimeBST on Newboffclothingday, 12 Never, 20012ty.

Grunty Grunty Grunty and the Sir! Sir! communities will be available during this time for fellow FLANTers to enjoy the cringing.

We don't apologise for any inconvenience and considering that this is such a lengthy period of trouser downtime we expect you all to bring cake.

Further to the announcement of unscheduled trouser downtime, the editors would like to make it clear that there will be further, trouser downtimes throughout the week, scheduled regularly at bedtimes but also unscheduled at short notice throughout the daytimes.

It would be helpful if researchers could refrain from using their Philips Ladyshaves during these times as this will put an unnecessary burden on the servers.

Further to the announcement of the furthest announcement and those announcements that are furthermost, it has been brought to our attention that trouser downtime occurrences have exceeded beltwidths owing to lack of cake servers adding a significant strain on ankles.

We would appreciate that, for the time being, only fully qualified trouser downtime technicians use the cake servers until a pair of braces can be secured. This may take some time. And cake. Obviously.