h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You can't bomb Belgium because (a) I have friends there, (b) it has some of the best restaurants in the world, (c) they invented the chip, which is enough in itself to ensure their survival, (d) they hate the French, (e) they brew some of the finest beer in the known universe and (f) any country which can retain its sense of humour despite having four parliaments, and the mroe prosperous Flemings having to speak French for the benefit of the Walloons, has a few lessons to teach us all.

Let me set you straight on one thing: the Belgians do NOT brew some of the finest beers in the world. They do, however, produce some of the finest distilled bear urine in the world (having tasted Belgian lager, I am convinced this is where it comes from). The finest beer in the world is, in fact, Fuller's ESB(Extra Special Bitter).

And, my sister Charlotte informs me, waffles come from Belgium. She considers this a redeeming feature, although God only knows why...

Clearly you have never drunk Wadworth's 6X fresh from the cask, then. But the Belgians do brew exceptional beer, notably the Trappiste Brun (dark Trappist, brewed by monks) which is yeasty and strong and... hang on I'll just nip out and buy some so I can describe it better.

And yes, the Belgians did invent waffles. Brussels is inundated with waffle stands.

You can say something like that only after you tasted them all, but since we have a few hunderd different types of beer, this will keep you busy for a while...

But the real reason to safe this small country is of course because of the delicious chocolate they make over there (not the crap you can find in tax-free shops all over the world, I mean _real_ Belgian chocolate)!