h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've been asked to tell the story of how a Coelacanth was discovered in a burlap sack near the Whiskey Ocean. My memory is a bit hazy, but I'll sit for a while and try to recall the events....
If you can be patient, and prompt me for a while it will help
A drink or two will be gratefully received too

Here you are I have brought you a barrel of Guinness from the lake next door...and a warning to watch out for the octopus! It seems to have got a little drunk and is floating about aimlessly at the moment

shazzPRME

Thanks Shazz
I'll certainly keep a look out for the octopus, but perhaps it can help me tell my story. I've got a poor memory after all these years, and I still can't quite remember what really happened.
Perhaps we should light a bonfire before I begin the story. Can anyone collect the driftwood?

I will go and see if some of the others will help

shazzPRME

*enters carrying flaming log with aesbestos glove and drops it on the ground*

Ahh...The depths...are the rumors true about this place? I brought the fire you requested...

*smiles* Baron! How kind of you... I know that you were a little nervous about coming here Now we should be able to hear the story we were promised!
shazzPRME

Even with the fire it's still damn dark in here.

It's even dark for the bowels of a planet. And that's freakin' dark!

*sniff,sniff,sniff......gets up and stalks off into darker darkness*

*muffled grunts and a whole lot of flesh banging against roch is heard with the occasional "OUCH!"*

*returns to lighter darknedd with dead octopuss dragging behind him and his left arm (torn from shoulder) hanging from teeth drops arm to ground*

Well, got us some more puss' to fry up. Knew I smelled something. Where's Gwennie? I need her to staple my arm back on.

Hmm.. Was burlap invented before or after your thought-to-have-been extinction?

'Nonnie

Burlap is perhaps as ancient as I am.
The sack I was held in was once to be found hanging on a wall in a great house. It protected the dwellers from the bitter cold wind blowing in from the sea. One dweller however, preferred the cold of the sea to the darkness in the house. There were many rumours about why this was so. Did anyone hear them?

I believe I know of the man you speak of. I was told that he had a thyroid problem and didn't fare well in the warmth of his home. The coolness of the sea soothed his affliction...so I was told.

and just maybe he had seen the little mermaid and preferred to sit on the shore and watch her all night?
shazzPRME

Hi chaps! Nice campfire... Have I missed much of Coelacanth's tale? I've been having fun at the fairground! *Spies dead octopussy!* Uhuh - so we're cooking the local wildlife now are we?

Ah - judging by your injuries BB, your the murderer of our octopus here.... I suppose you want me to fix that arm? *Gwennie produces a particularly viscous look stapler....* Come 'ere then! Anyone got some whiskey to pour on the wound? *Vindictive grin*

*entered the depths a while ago and was sitting, quietly listening.*


Shh; the story. It already is sounding romantic.

*Gazes dreamily into the fire*

I agree
shazzPRME

The dweller sat alone by the sea, watching, listening and waiting.
Watching the waves crashing in, and the slowly running out of the dark caves and tiny crevices in the soft, eroded rock.
Listening for all the sounds that rushed into a longing ear.
Waiting for.........?

Anyone know?

My guess was wrong the last time then?
shazzPRME

er...........waiting for me to sit down and shut up so you can continue the story?

*smiles*
>>>>///<<<< twiglet Linus??
shazzPRME

(whispers)True Love

ROFL (very quietly so as not to disturb anyone)