h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Twelfth, eh?

OK, let's see if we can do a bit better than that. It shouldn't be too difficult. After all I've consistently done better than B has predicted I would do - B on the other hand has been consistently crap at Fantasy Football

Psy, if you do want to sell any players, you risk making a heavy loss on them if they haven't scored any points. In fact, seeing as my spreadsheet is having a hard time understanding the concept of 'no matches played so far', you will in fact lose an inifinite amount of money, so I'd advise you to at least wait until Monday.

Now, I'm hoping Sprout will be back from hols now.

B

Well I was going to give them some chance. Although that infinite loss does sound appealing. "The first player to bankrupt a PP team." That'd look good on my CV.

Trout Montague, manager of debutante side Organcheese Academicals, assured fans earlier today that he expects the Elimbah-based outfit to have a full squad fit and available for selection for the opening fixture of the season. He added that the campaign wouldn’t however be won or lost in the first week, and that Organcheese success would depend more than anything else on getting value-for-money out of fringe defenders Ferreira, Kromkamp, Bridge and Silvestre.

***

Trout Montague will be buoyed by the breaking news that unsuccessful transfer targets Steve Finnan and Ashley Cole will both be polishing boots tis weekend.

I appear to have created a Football-Focus-punditry monster here.

B

A spokesgirl at the Organcheese Academy announced this evening that the first day of fixtures had been a disappointment for the club, who had clearly been obliged to play uphill into the wind and against 12 men for the whole 90 minutes. Manager Trout Montague was said also to be fuming that Wenger was Arsene around with the selection of Tomas Rosicky. The spokesgirl went on to question the PP scoring system, asking whether clean sheets would be awarded to Carragher and Riise who managed to get themselves injured before conceding.

Let me reassure you that people who have questioned the scoring system have come to grief in that past. It does not change.

By your argument, you could come on as an 88th-minute sub and get 3 points for keeping a clean sheet for 2 minutes.

B

Ah alas I am not making myself clear. I do not seek to question the scoring system per se but rather to seek clarity on its operation, viz,

1) how long do you need to be on the park to be awarded a clean sheet?

2) if not for the full 90, then are you rated on the goals conceded during the full match or only on the bit when you are in the field of play?

As manager of a newly promoted club, I have no motivation to change the scoring system, only to understand it.



Trout

"1) how long do you need to be on the park to be awarded a clean sheet?"

45 minutes, as stated in the scoring system on this page. Same applies to minus points for conceding.

"2) if not for the full 90, then are you rated on the goals conceded during the full match or only on the bit when you are in the field of play?"

You are assessed on the squad performance, so even if you went off before your team conceded lots of goals, you would be docked points.

B

So I'll get mine in now.

Organcheese Academic, Trout Montague, was today spotted collecting firewood. When asked why, he replied that he was preparing a barbecue, in order to cook the Fat Controller's Hat. He's expecting that Bubba-Fretts will prepare a marinade.

Any garnish Sir?

Oh, up yours. There's a lot of this season left, you know.

B

And then?

**smugly** I stand by my prediction.

B