The Ozark Party recognizes the amazing diversity of h2g2 and realizes that this diversity must be taken into consideration by any group seeking to represent the community. We are constantly amazed and gratified by the richness of this unique website and want to do our part to keep it healthy and robust. For this reason we are presenting a ticket for the offices of President and Vice-President of h2g2 and are offering researchers a brief, simple platform that explains some of our positions.

It is our belief that h2g2 is successful due to the unique blending of all of the elements of the community and that each of these elements should be nurtured. For this reason the Ozark Party will encourage all of the writers and artists who contribute to the site and will not place a higher value on the efforts of one form of creative expression over another.

Our researchers come from many countries and backgrounds. It is the position of the Ozark Party that all of our researchers should be treated with courtesy and respect by the entire community. We embrace “Netiquette” and will do our utmost to promote those customs and practices which result in a more pleasant online experience for all of us. As a corollary, we will strongly discourage those researchers who resort to trolling and flaming and who use name calling and personal attacks instead of reasoned arguments when discussing controversial topics.

One of the most enjoyable activities on h2g2 is role playing. These creative exercises give adults an opportunity to play and interact with our fellow researchers. The Ozark Party encourages the use of continuity when role playing. Failure to follow the rules of continuity lead to gibberish and ruin the experience for others. We believe that researchers who persistently break these rules should be considered as trolls and disciplined by the community.

Due to the varied beliefs and lifestyles of our researchers, it is incumbent upon us as a community to show our tolerance and support for not only h2g2 members but for our extended community. For this reason the Ozark Party will encourage the community at large to take stands on those issues that affect the ability of our fellowmen to live with dignity and security. We especially support the right to self determination for the people of Tibet, the withdrawal of foreign troops from the middle east, the ratification of the Kyoto Treaty, the restoration of our wetlands, the active search for alternative sources of energy, granting equal rights to all persons regardless of race, religion, ethnicity, age, gender or sexual orientation and the repeal of the h2g2 cake tax.

Campaign Pledges

Although the Ozark Party has been accused in the past of having a liberal bias and whereas it is true that we are usually more tolerant than the population in general, there are some things on which we will take a hard line:

• Spamming will not be allowed.
• There will be no murders or kidnappings on site.
• Under no circumstances will George W. Bush be allowed a membership in h2g2.
• We will strictly enforce the no spitting rule.
• Upon election, we will present an initiative to solve Badger poverty
• We shall make the head of the Monarchy of h2g2 sign a Magna Hoota Carta, forcing him to curtail his power and allow democracy to become the dominant force in h2g2. We shall invite all the great figgers of hootoo to witness the event.
• In order to benefit our aquatic researchers, Underwater Internet Cafes will be erected for ease of voting.
• We will make an aggressive effort to get rid of the smiley.
• We will hang a rather dashing portrait of the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the atrium of Alabaster House.
• The Ozark Party appreciates the contribution of additional letters to our alphabet. We will plant some Ardisia Paniculata in the Alabaster House garden. Furthermore, we shall begin an initiative to have all h2g2 beverage dispensing institutions sell bovril.
• Under the watchful control of Secretary of Health Z, our administration will provide free bowel cancer screenings and colonoscopy investigations. They're more fun than they sound, honest...
• The Vice President will be available for dunking on the third Tuesday Thursday of every month.
• A powdered wig atop every italicized head.
• Lastly, we will begin proceedings against management unless they immediately institute a hamster morale improvement program which includes paid holidays, extra rations for extra work and cute little pajamas with monogrammed pockets.

PS-

^{We call for the extirpation of all non-native species (introduced since 1492 [animal and plant {with the exception of small isolated populations retained for research purposes}]) from the Western Hemisphere and the replacement of agricultural crops and livestock with native species. Certainly native species such as potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, beans, maize, coca, cocoa, bison, elk, deer, moose, caribou will comfortably replace such Eurasian contributions as cabbage, brussels sprouts, hemp, sheep and goat.}