1st Law of Ice Cream (Joel's Observation) (UG)

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Official UnderGuide Entry

There are no bones in ice cream

Joel Lachance of Zenon Park, Saskatchewan, Canada, came up with this observation one night while goofed on left-handed tobacco, but it stands up to sobriety and critical analysis. As a philosophical statement it is similar to the Zazen of the Zen masters, and Taoist sages. It has more real-life implications and secondary meanings than are at first apparent.

  1. There really are no bones in ice cream.

  2. Ice cream can be molded into whatever shape you like due to its softness and lack of bone structure.

  3. You can enjoy ice cream without worry, knowing you will not choke on it.

  4. You cannot be too cautious when eating ice cream. The longer it takes, the faster it melts.

  5. You cannot save ice cream for later, without a deep freeze.

  6. You can only enjoy ice cream by eating it.

  7. To some people, eating ice cream is representative of living life to the fullest.

  8. Look deeply into the observation, and into yourself, and find whatever you will in it. You can use this observation to calm your soul.

Remember that life, like ice cream, must be savored, must always be guilt-free, and cannot be enjoyed when you are dead.

As a Taoist phrase, repeat whenever you can see little to be happy about. It's all good, baby.

Kudos to the Mad Poet for his insight. May life always be smooth and may there always be room for ice cream.

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